These Bitter Blooms

by Emma Hamm

No matter what plant she devoured, it always melted. It sank into her skin and she used that power to her advantage.

Until you realize your worth, I’ll believe it for you.”

As she staggered to a halt on the other side of the altar, her hair slid over her face in a billow of waves that obscured her vision. Before she could even shove it out of her way, he was there. Alistair slid each individual curl away from her face, smoothing her hair back on her head and taking his time to make sure every strand was in place. His half smile bloomed into a full grin, and he plucked a twig from her hair. He held it up to the sun, his thin fingers spinning it in the golden light. “How do you always show up with these in your hair?”

“Alistair Orbweaver, I think I might be convinced to love you, if you’d let me.”

He stood, his eyes wide and his hands already reaching for her again. Alistair tugged her until she had both her hands planted against his chest, and their bodies were so close she could feel his breath on his cheeks. “You could love me?” he murmured. “I could.”

He was the unassuming son of a man who took up too much space.

For a moment, looking up into his angry green eyes, she thought he might go the route his brothers had gone. He would seem weak if he helped her, so he could easily offer to take her to that poorhouse, so no one told his father what had happened here. He offered her his hand, though, with a slight bow following. “Please, allow me to escort you away from this immoral crowd.” A few gasps erupted all around them. “Immoral?” the woman in green hissed. “I’ve never been called such by an Orbweaver.” “Actually you have.” “I have not!” Thea knew that he’d wanted to startle them. He wanted them to see that they’d been rude and that no one should forgive them for this. Even though it would come at a cost to himself, his father would never let him live this one down. She knew it, and he knew it too; Alistair had still chosen to be her hero in the most Wildecliff way possible. He’d offered to help her while insulting those that wouldn’t.

Then he drew her close to his heart and placed his chin on top of her head. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I had your hand and then it just slipped out of my grasp. It took me too long to figure out where you were.” “It’s all right,” she replied. “You couldn’t have known.” But he should have, some part of her screamed. He should have known where she was, and he shouldn’t have ever let her go.

Because he loved her, too. He loved her so much it felt like he’d ripped a part of his soul off and handed it to her. He was more himself when he was with her than without.

“Why would I be interested in anyone other than you? I’d like to think it’s rather obvious that I wouldn’t want to marry anyone other than the ridiculous boy from across the river.”

“Are you saying that you’d marry me?” “Well, not right now. But when we’re older.” “Oh, thank the gods.” To both details. He wasn’t ready to get married, but he wanted to marry her—more than anything.

Opening his arms wide for her, he grinned as she ran to him. Thea struck him a little too hard, and they stumbled back a few steps together until he had fully wrapped her up. She felt his lips press against her hair in a kiss, and some of her fear eased.

“She’s not just a maid,” he muttered into his palms. “She’s the love of my life and the only person who has ever made me feel as though I wasn’t Alistair Orbweaver.” “But you are.” “Sometimes I don’t want to be.”

Thea grinned as she handed over the glasses, her fingers brushing against his. “You need to look after them better, Alistair. You’re blind without them.” Oh, now that wasn’t true. He was blind without her. Darkness and grief had blinded the entire house until she walked into this empty building and made it sparkle again.

“I have been gone a very long time,” she mumbled, her eyes on the fog. “But I know the young man I met all those years ago is still very much inside of him. I know Alistair, as I know the young woman inside myself that has never really grown up. Not without him.”

“I thought of you,” he said. “Every day.”

“I never forgot you, Alistair Orbweaver. But that doesn’t mean I should be your weakness. Not to this man or any other.”

told myself if I ever saw you again, that I would show you everything. I would face my fears, my father, the family that dragged me down. And that if you would step foot in this home again, that I would never let you go.” He smoothed his thumb over their ring, their promise, one more time. “In the long years since seeing you, in losing them all, I thought I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy. Now, I catch myself smiling and I realize it’s because I’m thinking of you again. I cannot deny you anymore, Thea, not when you are so entangled in what I believe is happiness.”

One moment the pale man had her pinned to the wall; the next, he had been thrown in the opposite direction. He hit the adjacent wall with a hard thud that made his breath wheeze out of his lungs. Sliding down the wallpaper, the man didn’t even try to protect himself as Alistair grabbed a fist full of his shirt and hauled him upright. “What did I tell you about her?” Alistair hissed into his face. “Say it. I want to know if you heard me.” “Stay away from her.” “That’s right. And you didn’t listen, did you?” Alistair’s magic billowed around him. Shadows crawled along the floor to join in on the magic that had been gifted to him by his father. “Remember what my father said to you all those years ago? After days of hearing you scream in the basement?” The pale man didn’t shake in Alistair’s hands as Thea might have expected. Instead, he tilted his head back and laughed. “Oh, I remember, Alistair. But you are not your father.” A darkness shifted inside Alistair. He leaned closer to the other man and snarled, “I can be, if I wish.”

Alistair will not be around much longer, and you’ll need a new master. One who is able to actually use your talents. Call me when you’re ready.” A snarl ripped out of Alistair, and he grabbed the back of the other man’s neck. With a harsh shove, he threw the visitor out the front door and slammed it behind him. Shoulders moving up and down in great heaving breaths, he braced himself against the frame. “Alistair?” she asked, watching him with wide eyes. “Are you all right?” To be honest, she wasn’t sure if he was. But the tingly feeling up and down her arms was rather... thrilling.

“Don’t think me that far from my father, Thea. If he had harmed a single hair on your head, I would have ripped his chest open and served you his bleeding heart on a platter.” “I don’t have any use for his heart.” Her fingers curled in the fabric of his shirt, drawing him closer. “I’m going to put myself in danger sometimes, Alistair. Wildecliff is not the safest place to live, but I won’t stop living simply because I am here.” “How am I meant to endure this worry, then?” He didn’t know the answer to that question. “My heart will stop, and then where will you be?” “Oh, I don’t think it’ll stop.” She smiled up at him, and he felt like the rays of the sun played across his face. “Are you going to keep talking or are you going to kiss me?”

“I have something to show you.” “Oh?” Alistair reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin, green ribbon. It seemed quite old and strangely familiar. Although, she wouldn’t quite place where she knew it from. “This was the ribbon attached to the first letter you sent me,” he murmured. “I’ve had it for years now, and it’s always brought me good luck.” “You kept it?” “Of course, I did. Just like I kept every letter you sent me, every gift you gave me, and every memory of you close to my heart.”

“I have loved you since before we met and for lifetimes beyond that. I will love you until the stars tumble from the sky and the last god dies. You are part of me, Alistair. I won’t ever let you go again.”

“You always say the right thing.” “That’s because I’m smarter than you.” “Of course it is,”

“Stop talking about all the poisons you’ve willfully ingested, you mad woman. Why would you eat all of that?” “Because I wanted to know what would happen if I did.” “You wanted to kill yourself? Is that it?” She burst into laughter as she stared down into his beloved face. “No, darling. I don’t ever want to die. Not while you’re still here.”

Wrapping an arm around her waist, he tugged her into his arms. “You make me see things differently, I’ll admit.” “Oh, do I?” She looped her arms around him as well. “You know, it’s inappropriate for you to touch me like this in public. What will all the esteemed people in the Academy think of their history professor?” “They’ll think he's madly in love with his maid,” he muttered. Alistair leaned closer, wanting nothing more than to kiss her. “And I will tell them they are correct. I have fallen in love with a woman from Waterdown, and I would never want another in my life. Not for a single second of the day.” “How sweet.”

“I recognize you,” he said. “I know this face as well as my own. There are exactly fifteen freckles on your cheeks, although they are hard to see. Your eyes are dark like the sea at midnight and your nose lifts slightly at the end. When you’re very happy, you smile so wide that wrinkles form on your cheeks, but when you are blissful, your smile shows your gums. You are mine, Thea. Mine and mine alone, and I cannot claim that I would have been any better if they murdered you in front of me.”