What I Mean When I Say I'm Autistic: Unpuzzling a Life on the Autism Spectrum

by Annie Kotowicz

Not everyone sees the beauty of autism, though. I once met a woman who tried to assure me that autism doesn’t define me. “It does, though,” I said. “It may be ninety-five percent of who you are,” she insisted, “but you’re still beautiful and amazing.” Still? As if autism were a stain whose influence I had narrowly escaped? Parents like her want to reassure their kids that they are “more” than their autism, not recognizing how beautiful it can be to see the world the way they do, or how much it can affect their identity. “I need you to trust me about something,” I said, forgetting to thank her for the veiled compliment. “Will you believe me?” She nodded yes. “A hundred percent of me is autistic. I’d be a completely different person without it. It makes me who I am—and I love it!” She cheered and gave me a high five.