What I Mean When I Say I'm Autistic: Unpuzzling a Life on the Autism Spectrum

by Annie Kotowicz

Here are three ingredients that may contribute to a meltdown, with questions to help you consider if that ingredient applies to a recent meltdown that you’re evaluating. • Burnout: Ask yourself, “What unusual circumstances may have sapped my strength in the day leading up to the meltdown?” The answer may include difficult tasks, extra socializing, new environments, unfamiliar foods, or poor sleep. Some call the result “having an empty bucket.” Some call it “being low on spoons,” a metaphor that I’ll discuss more in the chapter on Optimizing. I usually call it “feeling fragile.” Whatever you call it, less strength means less resilience, making you more susceptible to a meltdown when new stressors arise. • Sensory overload: Another ingredient to consider is intense sensory input. Ask yourself, “What did I see, hear, taste, smell, and feel right before the meltdown?” However, this can be a hard question to answer accurately if you’ve often been told that your sensory pain is not a big deal. If none of your answers to the sensory question feel like they ought to be a problem, try asking this instead: “What memories do I have of people telling me something shouldn’t hurt or is barely noticeable?” If people made fun of you for flinching at raindrops, you might have water sensitivity. If they acted incredulous that you could hear a TV on mute, then you might have audio sensitivity. Unpack what surprises others about you, and you may discover hidden sensory needs. • Cognitive ove...