Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

by Kim John Payne

Why simplify? Over the years, as I’ve come to see how a child’s quirks or tendencies can be exacerbated by cumulative stress, I’ve seen how children can slide along on the spectrum from quirk to disorder when they experience high levels of stress. If I had a big chalkboard, I would write it as this formula: q + s = d; or: quirk plus stress equals disorder. This is especially worrisome in a society that is often quick to judge, label, and prescribe. Imagine that wonderfully wistful child who loves to be in nature. He or she has a disposition for dreaminess. Very creative, like miniature philosophers, they can tell you a story that circumnavigates the globe before you see the possibility of a conclusion. This is the child who is great good company on vacation at the beach, but can be unbearable in the morning as the school bus is scheduled to arrive. If you add cumulative stress to this child’s life, he or she can just slide along the spectrum to ADHD, inattentive type. Their response to stress is to check out; that is their escape route.