Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

by Kim John Payne

This struggle between trust and mistrust is central to a child’s development. If a baby’s needs are not responded to, if his primary attachment to a caregiver is weak or inconsistent—if mistrust wins—then he will have trouble forming attachments and empathizing with others. Clingy and anxious, he will respond to the world as though it were a platform laid on water: slippery, unstable. Without a firm attachment to a loving caregiver, a child can suffer from chronically elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol is a neural hijacker, bullying out learning and other functions to make room for its floods. However, when a child is able to explore from a foundation of loving connection and security—when trust wins—he gains the freedom to grow.