when a child’s emotional distress is routinely ignored, they will usually, consciously or unconsciously, find other ways to solicit attention. Parental attention is the safest and most convenient, especially when one is displaying all of one’s “nasty bits” (as one four-year-old described a tantrum). But if a child can’t garner attention from their parents, then attention from someone else will do; and if they can’t attract compassionate attention, any form of attention can seem like a worthwhile substitute.
