Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency and Complex PTSD (4 Books in 1): Workbook and Guide to Overcome Trauma, Toxic Relationships, ... and Recover from Unhealthy Relationships)

by Linda Hill

Codependency: an enmeshed relationship in which one person loses their sense of independence and believes they must tend to someone else (Raypole, 2021).

Recognize that it is not your responsibility to fix other people’s problems. You can absolutely listen and empathize with them, but you do not need to take on their emotions or struggles. This will only lead you to feeling burnt out and will distract you from caring for yourself.

What Self-Care Is What Self-Care Isn’t Eating good, nutrient-rich foods and maintaining a healthy diet. Binge-eating or not eating at all. Regularly exercising in ways that are enjoyable. Numbing feelings through the use of substances. Getting enough sleep. Watching excessive amounts of television or scrolling social media and losing sleep. Following up on treatment plans for mental and physical illnesses. Getting instant gratification from activities that may have negative effects. Taking time to yourself to engage in relaxing, enjoyable activities. Spending every free moment with other people and doing what they want to do.

For codependents, loneliness within their relationship dynamic is certainly involuntary, and while they are actually seeking out compassion, they are receiving the opposite.

If we do not like who we are as a person, then we might take everything someone else says as either validation or rejection.

But real love is when two independent people work together to create something new outside of each other. You and your partner should not become enmeshed with one another, but should instead be independent and have your own interests, passions, and lives separate from the other.

To free yourself from codependency, your shame must be healed. You must ignore these fake beliefs, and you must recognize that you are not the cause of all that goes wrong in your relationship.

Healing isn’t curing. Healing is taking care of every part of yourself instead of avoiding painful moments. You’re going to discover how to nurture yourself through compassion and love. You’ll develop the support you need for yourself when no one else is there to guide you.