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Because you’re a sadistic fuck who gets off on cutting up your kid for some perceived mistake that somehow brings shame to our name?
I hate my skin. The scars that mar my body. Proof of my fuck-ups and the twisted mind of my father. There’s never a time I can just pull my shirt off. I’m always aware of the way my shirts fit, preferring to tuck them in most of the time to keep my body covered.
Part of me craves human contact, but in reality, I can’t stand for anyone to touch my body. Arms and hands are okay, and sometimes a leg brush, but my torso is absolutely off limits.
What would it feel like to be held by someone? To breathe them in, their hands running through my hair while we laid in bed, pressed together. I want it so bad it hurts.
“If I disappear for more than five minutes, come looking for me.” The words are quiet as they tumble out of my mouth. Only Jeremy could have heard them, the rest of the guys in here are laughing and screwing around. His finger hooks around mine and my eyes close at the contact, my breathing hitching in my chest as my stomach cramps painfully. There’s no way I’m going to be able to eat. Is he going to make me sit next to him or just in his line of sight so I can’t escape him?
This is what I’ve always craved but couldn’t ever ask for. He’s going to break my heart.
Jeremy calling me, trying to stop me from leaving, almost broke me. He shouldn’t care about me. I’ve given him no reason to. But I need it.
“I don’t know how to touch without fucking.” His confession breaks my heart. Has no one just held him because he needed it? Offered a hug? I wrap my arms around his neck and bring him into me. “It’s okay, I do.”
“You are mine and I don’t share.” His hands grip my hips. “No one touches you but me.”
“Keep looking at me with ‘fuck me’ eyes and I’ll do exactly that. I’m not above using you to make myself feel better and wearing you out until you can’t stand.”
“I’m no one’s favorite anything.” “That’s bullshit. You’re my favorite.”
“Jeremy, I love you more than I ever thought possible. My life is not complete without you, I am not complete without you.”
“I’m far from perfect. Life with me will not be easy, but I swear I will love you for the rest of my life.”
“He shows me that I’m lovable, even in the dark moments when everything tells me otherwise.”
“I can’t imagine going through life with anyone else. You’re it for me. You’ve always been it for me.”
