A Million Little Moments (Inevitable #2)

by Riley Hart

I was determined to make him smile, though, to bring back my Sutton and wipe away whatever it was that made him down.

That I was in love with him. That I’d been in love with Jasper Finch my whole damn life and what that had to mean for me.

I couldn’t take my eyes off them, Sammy and his boyfriend. Right there in front of us. Open and honest and, fuck, for a second, I thought I hated him for it because that made this feeling inside me more real. Made it crawl out of the dirt, unable to stay buried any longer, fighting and pulsing to get to the forefront. If Sammy could have this with Emerson, why couldn’t I with Jasper?

I really was bisexual, and I was so fucking in love with Jasper that it hurt…that it was killing me, and if I didn’t find a way to make this go away, I wouldn’t ever recover.

Sutton had a bottle of water in his hand and began peeling the edges of the wrapper. His fingers were shaking. He was nervous, which meant this was big, and fuck, it took everything in me not to go to him, to tell him it would be okay. To try and make Sutton feel better because I never felt as worthy as I did when I made him happy, or made him smile, or just let him know that he would never have to be alone. Not on my watch.

Don’t go… Please don’t go… “Feels normal to me,” Sutton said softly. He set his bottle on the counter, went to the door, grabbed his bag, and walked out. The second I heard his truck start up, heard his wheels on the gravel and felt him driving away, the first tear slipped free. I stumbled toward the wall, back hitting it, and slid down to the floor. My shirt was wet. Jesus, how was my shirt that fucking wet? But the tears were flowing freely now, like the dam had broken and a whole lifetime of denial and want was released in the flood that fell from my eyes. I miss you… Don’t go… Christ, I was so fucking broken. What was wrong with me? Who lost their shit this way because their best friend was moving out? You know why. Call him. Tell him. But I didn’t do either of those things. I curled into a ball, right there on my kitchen floor, and drowned in all my pain and sorrow.

Was that what it felt like to be in love with someone? Like there was nothing you wouldn’t do for them, and every second you ever shared was held in its own locked vault in your head so you knew they would always be there?

“You’re gonna fuckin’ ruin me, do you know that? It’ll break me to have you, then lose you.”

“I love you. Can I keep sayin’ that now?” Sutton asked. “You’d break my heart if you didn’t.”

Sutton kissed my neck, my throat, thrust against me some, and I wanted… Christ, why did I want…? “Can you slick your finger up and put it in me again? Just for a minute.” He leaned up, a look in his eyes I couldn’t read, but I knew it was good. “Yeah, Jasp. Anything.” “I just like havin’ ya that close to me,” I admitted. I wanted to be connected to him that way.

I got a million little moments like that inside me, and I remember every one.”

“We had a million little moments, Sutt, all of ’em leading us here. I can’t wait to spend my whole damn life makin’ a hundred million more of them with you.”