So Not Meant to Be

by Meghan Quinn

“The only bullshit thing between us is that spiel you just laid out. Deny it all you want, but I know you want me. The quicker you accept that, the better you will feel.” Despite the heavy beat of my heart, I know it’s my time to turn my head, and when I do, our noses nearly touch. With all the bravado I can muster, I say, “The sooner you realize I’m out of your league … the better you will feel.”

GAG EMMMM

“I heard there might be some trouble up here in paradise, and sometimes, when that happens, we print out the reason the computer connected you both. Would you like me to read it to you?” “No,” Kelsey says. “Yes,” I say at the same time. “I would love nothing more than to hear why Kelsey and I are suited for each other.” I cross my ankle over my knee as I scoot back my chair and prepare myself for what I can only imagine will be an absolutely enlightening experience for me and a horrific experience for Kelsey. From his pocket, Helix pulls out a piece of paper and clears his throat. “You were one of our highest matches in the system with a ninety-seven percent probable success rate.” HA! Steam flies out of Kelsey’s ears as my grin just keeps growing wider and wider. “RosesAreRed and ManWearsPants.” Helix turns to me. “Great name, by the way.” I nod at him. “Thank you.” “Oh my God,” Kelsey groans. “There’s absolutely no imagination to that name.” “As if RosesAreRed is a poetic masterpiece,” I reply. “Might as well have called yourself PointsOutTheObvious.” Kelsey juts her hand at me and looks at Helix. “See what I’m talking about? Insufferable.” Looking slightly weary, Helix takes a step back and continues reading. “RosesAreRed and ManWearsPants are both business owners within the Los Angeles area.” “Whoa, that’s a surprise to no one.” Kelsey folds her arms over her chest and, honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this upset. One of the things I’ve always found interesti...

would you like some wine after that drive by????

“Did you, uh, did you see my designs for the Anderson building?” “Yeah,” I answer. “Did you like them?” “Seemed like everything else you’ve turned in. Unless I’m mistaken and you used something other than bamboo storage.” I don’t bother to look at her, but from the corner of my eye, I can see her mouth turn down in a frown. “JP, if there’s something I did—” “You know, I have some emails to answer,” I say, pulling out my phone and tapping away on it. Instead of going to my inbox—because there’s no way in fuck I’m answering any emails right now—I scroll through Twitter, checking out what all the trolls have to say about the Vancouver Agitators and their recent playoff loss. Talk about a weak showing. Not sure they even decided to show up. “I know you’re ignoring me,” she says, clearly not getting the hint. Keeping my eyes on my phone, I say, “Kelsey, I have better things to do with my life than to ignore you. You’re not that important.”

jp dont piss me the fuck off you have the cognitive reasoning skills of a small rat