Give Me Peace

by M.K. Harper

I have no idea how deep Kash’s feelings have grown, but I imagine they’re pretty intense if he’s able to fall asleep without me in the same room. All because she was there. The woman who now holds more power than she realizes. Kash isn’t like the other guys. He jokes and fucks off because he doesn’t think he’s good enough to be anything more than that. He sure as shit doesn’t put himself out there with women. My twin has this idea that he’s somehow less

But who the hell doesn’t have baggage these days? The deprecating shit he thinks of himself is conjured by his own head and the lingering voice of our stepfather. Truth be told, I depend on him just as much as he does me. The only difference between us is that I’ve grown more hardened by this fucked up world. Yet this pint-sized girl has him wrapped around her finger. The problem with that, is he’s not the only one who’s staring at Saylor with hearts

It makes my jaw tic to think of Saylor with some vanilla asshole—for reasons I refuse to explore—but if there’s anyone who deserves a happily ever after, it’s her. And where the hell will that leave Kash now that the stupid fucker has went and attached himself to her like a damn leech? Fucked, that’s where.

I’ve learned to guard myself, but my twin loves too easily, despite having every reason not to. I just hope that he has enough sense to pump the brakes before he’s in so deep that he’s blinded by everything else. If not, when she walks out that door one day, after all of this Liam shit is put to rest, he might as well rip his heart from his chest and give it to Saylor as a parting gift.

“Hey, Tink,” I greet her softly, keenly aware of the way her skin flushes. I’m sure she wasn’t expecting to find me, of all people, standing here. In fact, I have a feeling that Saylor thinks I don’t particularly like her. This divide I’ve erected has been for my sanity, though. It has nothing to do with anything she's said or done.

Lost causes, every single one of them. “I’m going to jump right into the deep end, because I doubt we’ve got long before the rest of the gang is back. I wanted to get your thoughts on how you feel about speaking with someone, professionally speaking.”

“Denvers already sent me the name of a well-respected psychologist. She’s worked with patients who’ve experienced similar traumatic events and even some fellow agents of his dealing with PTSD. She comes highly recommended.” “Huh,” Saylor mumbles absently. “Everything would be done by video conference. You wouldn’t have to go anywhere. I can set you up in here, with complete privacy,” Loch adds.

“Whatever you decide, just know that you can still talk to us too. If there’s anything on your mind, night or day, we’re always here to listen. Seeking outside help doesn’t change that.

It also doesn’t escape my notice that Kade seems completely unfazed by Saylor using his first name.

“The work I did around the house for your mom helped up the resale value. After it sold and the remainder of the mortgage was paid, there was still a decent amount left. I saved it. Opened a separate account to stash it in just in case this day ever came. As soon as I built up my own savings, I had Krew invest some of your money a little at a time, but never more than I could compensate for in case it ended up being a loss. Luckily, that didn’t happen. How much is it sitting at currently?” Kade looks to me.

She blinks through the tears that are desperately trying to fall, then steps closer and wraps her arms around his torso. I think we all quit breathing for a second as we witness Saylor freely hugging Kade, her tiny fists gripping the back of his shirt. His chin rests on the top of her head as he holds her, his eyes closed in contentment.

Saylor turns to look at me. Her steps are hesitant, but she slowly closes the space between us. Reaching out, she takes my hand in hers and gives it a gentle squeeze. A goddamn lightning strike would’ve been preferable to the reaction it causes inside of me. My brain is screaming ‘Abort!’ but my body has other plans because my fingers force their way between hers until they’re twined together. “You’re welcome, Tink.” And down goes another one.

Kash grabs every sweet imaginable and drops them on the coffee table, then comes back for the chips. He’s gonna send us both to an early grave. Him from clogged arteries and me from worry.

Kash stays in ours, surprisingly, but barely sleeps. I’m not sure that any of us do. At least not well. We’re too busy anticipating a scream to ever drift off fully.

“Hey,” Havok replies, stretching his free arm to the side. “Not gonna lie, I was kinda worried you were going to freak out when you found me here. I tried to lay you down and leave last night, but you latched on and wouldn’t let go. I planned to slip out a bit later but must’ve fallen asleep.” “It’s okay,” I reassure him. Maybe I should be more concerned about why I slept so great with him next to me, but I feel the safest when I’m not alone. “I didn’t have any nightmares.”

Who the heck is this man? Havok looks even harder on the outside than he did the day I was taken. His features are more defined from age and his skin is covered in artwork. I imagine that this is what women refer to as a ‘bad boy’. Yet he’s softer than I’ve ever known him to be. Finding out about the money he kept safe for me and the lengths he went to, without knowing if I’d ever have any use for it, leaves me speechless. It’s mind blowing to think that this is the same person who made me dread going to school.

I hate to think that I was the catalyst for such a visceral change in him, that seems a bit self-centered, but I’m fairly certain my abduction was the turning point.

A quick glance at the clock shows the appointment slot is only thirty minutes from now. So, really last minute. But maybe this is the perfect scenario, where I have no time to stress or talk myself out of it. I’ll never want to pick apart the last five years, but I know I need to. “Yeah. I’ll take the opening.” I grimace but square my shoulders.

Her eyes are warm and welcoming. “It’s nice to meet you too, Danielle.” I smile, at least I hope that’s what I’m doing. “I know the basics of your case, but first I’d like to hear how you’re feeling about today’s meeting.

Danielle was respectful of my feelings and didn’t once push me to talk about anything I didn’t want to. I fully expected to leave this room a blubbering mess, but the only tears I cried were because her words made me feel hopeful.

His limbs flop to the ground as soon as he’s free. I hold the fabric, giving it a hard look as my mind brings me back to a time when I had something similar binding my hands and covering my eyes. I blink, swallowing past the lump in my throat, and remind myself that this isn’t

Roan

damn if I was going to move. Saylor’s tiny feet are laid across my lap. I’ve had my hand wrapped around one or the other, my thumb softly stroking the side of her ankle any time I feel her move. She’s stirred once or twice, but one of us has been there to reach out and calm her before it got too bad.

My mind is restless. I’ve been dozing on and off, but haven’t slept more than an hour at a time. It’s not uncommon for me to be up and down throughout the night. Sometimes, I spend hours in the gym trying to tire myself out, eager for the inevitable crash. I’ve been so wrapped up in Saylor, worried about how she’s doing and what she needs, that I haven’t really had the time, nor brain power, to obsess over Elira the way I usually do.

My sister has always been my driving force. To do better—be better. Now here’s this woman, occupying all of my free time and taking up residence in my thoughts, leaving little to no room for anything else. It’s a different type of guilt. Like I’ve somehow forgotten or replaced Elira.

We were careless. But damn if she didn’t pull herself out of it all on her own. She came to me, even after I’d been a part of the problem, and pressed her face to my chest like it was the only place she wanted to be. I would hold that girl forever, but I’ve never been more proud of her, seeing her take the comfort she needed and then strengthen her resolve.

Saylor has this idea that she’s meek—maybe a bit of a pushover—but she’s assertive when she needs to be. She’s the perfect balance of soft and hard, and every time she lets go and her laughter fills the room, I swear it’s like a shot of sunshine straight to my fucking nervous system.

I’ve never been a runner, but there’s something calming about being out here all alone, nothing but the sound of the ocean for company.

I don’t usually run for as long as I did, but I got lost in the rhythmic thump of my feet and the quiet nothingness inside of my head.

Where Krew is content to keep his own company, Kash thrives on interaction. He doesn’t do well when he’s left alone, so as much I might want to strangle the fucker when he interrupts the rare sleep I do get, I understand that it’s not something he does to be annoying. But the other hell he causes? Definitely intentional.

I grab some diced potatoes from the freezer, toss them in a mixture of seasonings, and stick the baking sheet in the oven. The biscuits Saylor loved so much go in as well, and then I start frying the sausage. I’ve been cooking since I was a kid, not really having any other choice but to learn or go hungry. The guys caught on pretty quickly, even Loch, who’d been used to having a private chef for most of his life.

It’s been little more than a week since I kicked that fucking door in. It feels like so much longer, though.

Krew stretches out, glancing to where his hand is resting on Saylor. The moment awareness filters back in, he jerks it away. What a dumb fucker. He can play unaffected all he wants, even try to put distance between them, but it’ll be pointless. If I have anything to say about it, she won’t be going anywhere.

“You made biscuits and gravy?” she gasps, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. “This was Mom’s favorite.” I expect her to get emotional, but she just grins, more nostalgic than upset. “I might’ve grown up in Washington, but the mouth of the south here taught us a few secrets.” I wink, pointing at Kade. “It’s her recipe, Say.” He looks up, giving her a sad smile.

“I guess it just hasn’t come up before now.” I shrug. “I don’t usually talk about my life before the guys.” “Oh.” Saylor resumes eating, but it's obvious she’s biting back a million questions. “I feel like all of you know so much about me, but I barely know a thing about any of you.”

It terrifies me that she might see me differently. That she could confirm all the insecurities I fight to overcome every day. The dark thoughts telling me I failed the one person I should have protected above all else. A knife to the jugular would be less painful than to have Saylor’s eyes cloud with judgement and disappointment every time she looks at me.

painful shit—should be discussed with her one-on-one. It’s hard enough to open up without the added pressure of an audience.

“So, I know Havok is twenty-one, but how old are the rest of you? I feel like that’s a question I should have asked by now.”

Saylor before n after this talking to guys abt their bkgrnd

‘Greetings from Fargo, North Dakota’. I wrack my brain, trying to remember if we've had a client anywhere near there recently, but no one comes to mind. I flip it around, thinking it might’ve been placed in the wrong box or something, but stop short at the name it’s addressed to. Saylor Radley In the blank area to the right, ‘see you soon’ is scrawled in red ink, a sequence of coordinates just below it.

“This is why we have a P.O. box. The house is listed under the trust, so theoretically, it shouldn’t be possible for someone to trace it back to us,” Krew offers, but words like ‘theoretically’ and ‘shouldn’t be’ aren’t really working for me at the moment. Loch pulls his phone out, swiping through it quickly before placing it against his ear.

“Okay, let’s hear it. What’s the first thing?” I look over, eyeing the pen and notebook in his hand. “Tell us what you want to do, Best Friend.” His eyes are wide with excitement.

Havok scoffs. “If, pretty girl? We both know you’ll ace it. You’ve always been the smartest person in the room, at any given time.” He winks at me, but I swear a ten-ton stone has lodged itself in my chest cavity. I didn’t feel very smart in that cellar. No matter how many times I brainstormed or tried to fight my way out of there, Liam was always one step ahead.

“I hope to have a career I love. A family.” Conveniently, I leave out the fear I’m harboring about my own worthiness. The apprehension I have that a future partner might see me as dirty or damaged goods. Those aren’t attractive qualities any man would desire.

They have no idea how many times Mom and I did this very thing. I briefly mentioned it to Kash, but I don’t think he understands how seriously we took our castle building. Even one-handed, I’m determined to best their amateur skills.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful sight than Havok McKade grinning without a care in the world. He looks so genuinely happy it makes my chest ache.

playing down the offer like it’s no big deal. But it is. Everything they’ve done since the day Lochlan and Roan found me has been for the betterment of my wellbeing. They’re selfless, and I know, without a doubt, they’d protect me by any means necessary. I have no idea how things would’ve gone had I chosen to go to the safe house, but I’m grateful that I’m here instead.

Lochlan

she hadn’t reapplied the sunblock I sent with them. I could’ve kicked both my brother’s asses for not thinking to remind her. But damn she looked beautiful coming through the door, her face flushed and the setting sun framing her silhouette. Her eyes were bright and clear, despite how tired she was, and it soothed that thing inside of me that’s desperate to bring Saylor back to life.

She deserves everything written on this piece of paper, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to make every last one a reality. I whip my phone out and get to work.

Two-day shipping has always been fine with me, but I'd rather have it delivered immediately. I need to do this for her, to fix the things I can because there’s so much I have no control over. But this? This I can do. I’m just about to pocket my phone when it starts to ring, Denvers name flashing across the screen.