He’s told me about a friend at Hallmark who “did it.” A gregarious, older Cuban-American woman who worked in the “care card department” (sympathy, new babies, wedding showers) not the humor department where the geniuses work. This woman, he said, simply got tired of writing goopy cards all day and pretending to “care” when she didn’t really give a shit. She didn’t inform a soul or pull a long face. One day she just stopped her car on the Heart of America Bridge and jumped in the Missouri River, leaving behind a note that said, “If you get out of life with one friend left, you’re probably a
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