This Is How We Do It: A Pep Talk

by Kevin Hart

I am driven by the same thing I want you to be driven by: big questions. If your questions are big enough and positive enough, you can transcend the ordinary. Here are some of the questions I ask myself: What am I building? What is the endgame? And when I get to the endgame, is it really the end? When I die, what will other people talk about? What will the conversation be like? What is the legacy I’m leaving for my children?

I did it my way. And in doing it my way, I achieved things I never dreamed or imagined that I would be able to. I also failed and didn’t do some things. So I went back, and I redid them. And whatever people may say, I appreciate my individual journey.

“I’m proud of myself.” Really feel a deep respect and admiration for your grind, your will, your effort, your blood, sweat, and tears. Because all those things are you.

What path are you on now? Who chose that path? Where is it ultimately leading if you don’t change anything? Whose approval are you seeking? How far will you go off your path to get it? What decisions are you making out of fear? What decisions are you making out of joy? If you are marching to the beat of a drum, who or what is beating out the tempo? The only path that leads to the ultimate you—because beyond goals, that’s really what we’re talking about—is the path you

choose yourself. Nobody is in charge of you but you.

every single day of my life and career to not be healthy and die too soon so I can’t enjoy what I’ve built? Is that what I’m doing? Do I not want to see the benefits of hard work?

Success, they say, is where preparation meets opportunity. And there are two kinds of preparation: One is dedication to your personal craft, to the specific skill set you need to reach your goal. The other is to prepare your life and your mind to find, embrace, and receive that success.

We are living in the most shit-talking time in human history.

Mindset. Is. Everything.

You can decide to feel miserable and feel limited, or you can decide to feel optimistic and feel expansive, with an enduring sense of possibility. You can decide to see the worst intentions in somebody, or decide to have empathy and understanding for what led them to act that way. You can also decide to apply yourself—every day—or stay in neutral and let life pass you by.

Positive mindset is so key because when you have it, it makes you completely free. It means you have somehow figured out a way to think about the bright side, no matter what. You don’t let yourself get stuck walking in circles, dwelling on the negative. You keep your head up and keep moving forward.

With a positive mindset, you can’t be stopped. You can’t be knocked down, at least for long. How can you be held back when every obstacle becomes an opportunity? When every trial and tribulation life throws at you becomes a gift to make you grow and become stronger?

But positivity is creative. It’s generative. It’s beautiful. It’s inspiring. Positivity uplifts and encourages. Positivity creates options and possibility. Positivity is movement. Positivity makes room for hope. Positivity is freedom.

The dopest thing in the world is getting up after you’ve been knocked down, because so many people stay down.

not affected by the conversation of others. I’m only affected by me. Point blank, point blank. Develop a positive mindset. Try to simply understand what it really can do for you. Turn the negatives into positives, man.

What-is-ness is accepting everything for what it is. When shit inevitably happens: it is what it is. You are at peace with the nature of this new reality.

People create so much friction and agitation in themselves by not accepting the reality of their situation.

Deciding to do something and going past whatever the goal was that you set is a major mental achievement. You get to feel proud of yourself for completing something. You feel good for successfully controlling yourself and doing something positive.

People tend to gravitate toward reliable people because they can trust them, while they subtly avoid the unreliable people. All the unreliable people have left around them is other unreliable people, because hanging around each other makes them feel comfortable in excusing and normalizing their shitty habits and broken promises.

Determination fuels everything. It’s going to keep you doing the hard work and choosing the path to success.

The respect and admiration that you have for your grind, for your will, your effort—your blood, sweat, and tears—is what creates determination.

when conflicts arise or shit goes sideways, instead of attacking someone by saying, “You did this to me!” I do my best to cowboy up and stop and think, Hold on a minute . . . How did my behavior help create this situation? What information, needs, or boundaries did I not communicate that caused this misunderstanding? What could I have done differently that would have created a better outcome?

You have to take responsibility for your bullshit. Your shit is your shit. Own up to

And this is what is missing from most people’s mindset

you are the only person who can change a goddamn thing about your life.

Until you stop wishing things were different, accept the way they are, and take up the sole responsibility of doing something about it, nothing will change.

People with a weak reality are influenced by other people and outside events. People with a good, strong self-image are influenced from the inside and immune to external opinions.

If you’re not living in a state of growth, then you’re acting like you’re on your way out, and your emotions will follow suit. You might have already noticed that happen when you’re living your life from a place of stagnation. It does not feel good.

People spew negativity for a reaction. That’s the only reason behind it.

Nobody has anything on you unless you give it to them. Your emotions, your response, your anger—those are all things controlled by you. When you’re nonreactive, people are wasting their time when they try to fuck with you.

Your future rests on no one else’s shoulders but your own. So learn to carry a bigger load, and you’ll have a bigger life.

The smartest person in the room never says they’re the smartest person in the room. The smartest person in the room lets everybody talk, and they listen so they can

get even smarter. The smartest person in the room is the spongiest.

If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.

Soaking up knowledge from different individuals in different fields not only makes you a more well-rounded and creative thinker, but it also allows you to relate with more people as you move through life, which in turn encourages more personal growth.

It allows you to be more socially agile and adjust to any room. Being able to carry conversations and make connections with a greater range of people opens up doors to ideas and opportunities you wouldn’t otherwise have if you stayed narrow minded.

You can’t keep your eyes on something you haven’t defined.

You can’t summon the self-powership and determination necessary to push yourself down the path if you don’t know what the path is leading toward, and feel a burning drive to get there.

One of the biggest things that takes people’s eyes off their prize is comparison.

The other thing that takes my eyes off the prize is wasting my time staring at the obstacles in my way. All that does is slow you down and have you thinking about the problems rather than focusing on the prize on the other side.

Without the capacity for put-up-with-ness, you’re going to fold at the first sign of adversity or give up just before the finish line.

Without patience, you also won’t be able to withstand the amount of time it’s really going to take to realize your vision. Nothing will happen overnight.

Your ability to succeed and accomplish your goals is directly dependent on your ability to deal with adversity and time.

You have to stay connected to what really matters, which is how you feel about yourself and your immediate surroundings.