This Is How We Do It: A Pep Talk

by Kevin Hart

Energy flows where attention goes, and some of that attention is just emboldening the negative forces in the world. There are many reasons for this, but one is because people who can’t get positive attention often opt for negative attention, rather than getting no attention at all.

I am driven by the same thing I want you to be driven by: big questions. If your questions are big enough and positive enough, you can transcend the ordinary. Here are some of the questions I ask myself: What am I building? What is the endgame? And when I get to the endgame, is it really the end? When I die, what will other people talk about? What will the conversation be like? What is the legacy I’m leaving for my children?

What path are you on now? Who chose that path? Where is it ultimately leading if you don’t change anything? Whose approval are you seeking? How far will you go off your path to get it? What decisions are you making out of fear? What decisions are you making out of joy? If you are marching to the beat of a drum, who or what is beating out the tempo? The only path that leads to the ultimate you—because beyond goals, that’s really what we’re talking about—is the path you choose yourself. Nobody is in charge of you but you.

Success, they say, is where preparation meets opportunity. And there are two kinds of preparation: One is dedication to your personal craft, to the specific skill set you need to reach your goal. The other is to prepare your life and your mind to find, embrace, and receive that success.

You have to risk negativity, risk banishment, risk hatred to have a life worth living.

Remember these three words: Mindset. Is. Everything.

Positive mindset is so key because when you have it, it makes you completely free. It means you have somehow figured out a way to think about the bright side, no matter what. You don’t let yourself get stuck walking in circles, dwelling on the negative. You keep your head up and keep moving forward.

With a positive mindset, you can’t be stopped. You can’t be knocked down, at least for long. How can you be held back when every obstacle becomes an opportunity? When every trial and tribulation life throws at you becomes a gift to make you grow and become stronger?

Your arrow is going to land where you’ve set your sights. If you lower them by indulging in fear and negativity, then that’s where you’ll end up. If you raise them, stay positive, and keep your aim high, you’ll end up at that level. You just need to have the confidence and believe in yourself enough to raise your gaze up that high.

What-is-ness is accepting everything for what it is. When shit inevitably happens: it is what it is. You are at peace with the nature of this new reality.

In the words of Bruce Lee, “Be like water.” He knew the secret to life—to staying centered and strong—was flow.

Sometimes we’re bitching and complaining about shit we can’t fucking change. Make the best of those moments. Complete those moments. And after completing them, move on rather than sitting there and letting it fuck up your day. That’s my suggestion. Be like water: allow, adapt, and keep moving.

The respect and admiration that you have for your grind, for your will, your effort—your blood, sweat, and tears—is what creates determination.

Cowboying or cowgirling or cowpersoning up means taking ownership. Taking the bull by the horns. It’s sitting tall in your saddle and taking responsibility not only for your words and actions but for everything in your life.

Teddy bearing is the outward social expression of your positive mindset.

“Give yourself permission to be you, and let go of the anxiety that comes from the impossible pursuit of being liked by everyone. It’s so liberating.”

People with a weak reality are influenced by other people and outside events. People with a good, strong self-image are influenced from the inside and immune to external opinions.

Your emotions, your response, your anger—those are all things controlled by you. When you’re nonreactive, people are wasting their time when they try to fuck with you.

The smartest person in the room lets everybody talk, and they listen so they can get even smarter. The smartest person in the room is the spongiest. Facts.

Soaking up knowledge from different individuals in different fields not only makes you a more well-rounded and creative thinker, but it also allows you to relate with more people as you move through life, which in turn encourages more personal growth.

One of the biggest things that takes people’s eyes off their prize is comparison.

Without patience, you also won’t be able to withstand the amount of time it’s really going to take to realize your vision. Nothing will happen overnight.