This Is How We Do It: A Pep Talk

by Kevin Hart

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. —Maya Angelou

people who can’t get positive attention often opt for negative attention, rather than getting no attention at all.

everyone makes mistakes, but a mistake is not a bad thing unless you decide it is.

Whether you want to change the world or just your world, it’s the same thing. The endgame is really noticing, oh shit, you know what? I did it my way. And in doing it my way, I achieved things I never dreamed or imagined that I would be able to. I also failed and didn’t do some things. So I went back, and I redid them. And whatever people may say, I appreciate my individual journey.

In the words of Bruce Lee, “Be like water.” He knew the secret to life—to staying centered and strong—was flow.

“Dad, I hate school!” I said, “Does that mean that you don’t have to go?” “No . . .” “You still have to go, every day?” “Yes . . .” “So, you hating school is going to do what?” “Nothin’ . . .”

“You make every day tough by going into school with hate. Every day. Every day that you go to school will be a tough day because you already hate it going into it. You still gotta do it, so why don’t you just accept the fact that you gotta give me at least thirteen years of school? Accept it. Make the best of it. You’re spending all this time being negative about something you have to do anyway. It’s not doing anything to change it. Make the best of it!”

Be like water: allow, adapt, and keep moving.

Everything leaves an imprint. If you don’t show up for them, they don’t feel like they matter. And that’s the ultimate message any kid is constantly trying to get from their caregivers: “I matter.”

Here’s the thing about likability: Oprah Winfrey once said something that was so good, which is, “Not everybody is going to like you.” And it’s okay.

I’m not saying the goal is to be liked. That’s external. You can’t control whether people like you, and you sure as hell don’t want to worry about it. I’m saying be likable. That’s internal.

But no matter what they say, remember that it’s not about you. The negativity and nastiness coming out of people’s mouths tells you more about them than you.

You need to be your own tow truck.