This Is How We Do It: A Pep Talk

by Kevin Hart

Here are some of the questions I ask myself: What am I building? What is the endgame? And when I get to the endgame, is it really the end? When I die, what will other people talk about? What will the conversation be like? What is the legacy I’m leaving for my children?

Now ask yourself some hard questions: What path are you on now? Who chose that path? Where is it ultimately leading if you don’t change anything? Whose approval are you seeking? How far will you go off your path to get it? What decisions are you making out of fear? What decisions are you making out of joy? If you are marching to the beat of a drum, who or what is beating out the tempo?

Nobody is in charge of you but you.

And I want to watch my children benefit from all this work, too, for as long as I can. I choose to take care of myself so I can be an example to them, and to you, of how much you’re able to do and get done within your life span by simply giving a shit.

You have to risk negativity, risk banishment, risk hatred to have a life worth living.

Negativity (when it’s not processed) is completely unproductive. It does nothing for you. It gets you nowhere. It brings you and other people down. I really want you to see that.

Because all your major downs in life are just preparing you for the major ups. Every chapter has a lesson that builds on the one before. That is, at least, if you have your eyes open to see it.

Divorce today doesn’t mean you won’t get married again. Getting fired doesn’t mean you’ll never work again. Nothing short of death is the end of the world. It’s not over.

But if you come out the gate with the what-ifs and thoughts like Oh my god, what if I fail?! that just means that you’ve already failed.

The higher you climb, the more attention and pressure you’ll have coming at you. And so the more dialed in your positive mindset must be. Otherwise, the world is going to tear you to shreds.

A positive mindset isn’t about feeling like you’ve got sunshine and rainbows on the inside all the time. Sometimes you need to move through harder feelings and tougher times. But throughout that, positivity means not collapsing and giving in to feeling resigned and defeated.

We all start in the same place. Then we get older and it ends. All of the stuff that happens in the middle, for those of us lucky enough to have one—it’s all helping us to basically be a fucking great example to those who are coming after us.

They’re gonna know what to do and what not to do based off the things you did.

I want my kids to be mentally strong

Because you can have it all and not have a good mindset, and that all will be lost.

I’m only affected by me.

What-is-ness is accepting everything for what it is. When shit inevitably happens: it is what it is. You are at peace with the nature of this new reality.

Are you going to tell me you built a secret time machine to travel back in the past and unfuck this situation? I didn’t think so. So why spend a second of time complaining about it, fighting it, or resisting it?

How are you going to learn if you can’t let yourself be wrong? How are you going to create the future if you’re stuck in the past?

You’re spending all this time being negative about something you have to do anyway. It’s not doing anything to change it. Make the best of it!”

Be like water: allow, adapt, and keep moving—and finish.

Deciding to do something and going past whatever the goal was that you set is a major mental achievement. You get to feel proud of yourself for completing something.

So, when you start feeling down, it’s because you know that you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do and applying yourself 100 percent in order to give yourself the best possible opportunity to be great.

Consistency inspires consistency.

I don’t care how long it takes, you will see the benefit from your consistency. You will see the benefit from putting the work into your craft, into your goal, into your dream. It will pay off. I don’t care how long it takes. It’ll happen.

Because you have one time to fuck up my time. I don’t give my time up. I value and understand and appreciate time.

If you don’t show up for them, they don’t feel like they matter. And that’s the ultimate message any kid is constantly trying to get from their caregivers: “I matter.”

It’s going to be hard. And you’ll never make it if you don’t accept that and bring a whole lot of perseverance and persistence.

“Oh shit, you know what? I did it my way. And in doing it my way, I achieved things I never dreamed or imagined that I would be able to do. I also failed and didn’t do some things, but I went back and redid them because I never gave up.”

Leaders take ownership. Champions take ownership. People are inspired to follow other people who take ownership. It earns respect. Ownership shows strength and humanity.

I know people who stay up late reading every tweet and YouTube comment about them, or every review in blogs and newspapers. They give themselves nightmares and lose sleep for weeks. Why the fuck would you do that? Why would you subject yourself to the faceless, heartless, vicious hatred and negativity on the internet?

It’s not even about you. It’s just what people like to do online.

Am I letting other people’s negativity get the best of me?

Reengage your positive mindset, make a new choice, and watch life respond.

This kind of dissatisfaction is coming from a place of being okay with what is and then saying, “Okay, cool, this is good. But you know, I think I can still do better. I really think we can make this better.”

It’s a healthy desire to keep seeing what you’re capable of—to continuously grow, develop, increase your capacity, and improve your life and environment.

Again, there’s a big difference between being dissatisfied because you’re curious about what more you can do and being dissatisfied because deep down you feel like you’re not good enough and nothing you ever do will be either.

“Am I truly applying myself 100 percent? Can I do more?”

Dissatisfaction is always asking yourself, “Can I do more?” And nine times out of ten, the answer to that question is always going to be yes. But it’s hard to do more. Because people are satisfied with not doing more. It’s hard to want to do more. But if you want to run the mental marathon, you do.

The surprises of life are going to keep raining down whether I like it or not. Other people are going to keep operating from inside their own reality and mental game. None of that means a goddamn thing about my own.

People spew negativity for a reaction. That’s the only reason behind it. They’re looking for a reaction. If you give that, then you feed into it. When you’re nonreactive to it, then the point of attack has no return.

know you’re not gonna wear that dumbass shirt outside.” “You’re not gonna hurt my feelings. This is the shirt I chose today, and I’m gonna wear it. Nothing you say is going to hurt me.”

“You’re not going to hurt my feelings.”