You Never Forget Your First: And He Just Might Be the Death of Me

by Millie Perez

I’m now wiping away tears of laughter instead of grief, and it feels like the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding since learning of my mother’s diagnosis, is released. All thanks to Evan Cooper.

“I wasn’t. But you texted us to be here today, so here I am.”

“First of all, if this guy had any sense to him, he would have never allowed that first breakup to ever happen, because he would have known that a woman like you isn’t something that comes by very often.”

“Amelia, I don’t care if you’re the type of girl who is into grand gestures or not, but that engagement story … yeah that’s not the story you want to tell your kids about, it’s not the once in a lifetime experience that you deserve.”

The confession that kept me up most of the night. Amelia Nuñez has a crush on me. Had. First crush means she was just a kid, but what about now? To think that the woman who I’ve had embedded in my heart for the better part of a decade, at one time had feelings for me.

The moment I see her, I want to push her buttons and get a rise out of her, since it's only fair that she feels as unsettled as I do around her, no?

After all these years of secretly pining for her, I can never let an opportunity pass where I can hold her hand or touch the small of her back. Fuck, I even kissed her hand today. I’m such a goner.

You were in the spotlight and everyone, including myself, was completely enamored by you.”

The feeling of having you in my arms, smiling and laughing. Hell, it’s a feeling I’ve never been able to replicate, no matter how hard I’ve tried.

“If you think I’m going to let another opportunity to date you pass me by, you’ve clearly underestimated me. I’ve waited ten years, Amelia. Ten years. And that’s on me. I was too chicken shit to tell you about my feelings before, but now it’s out there. So, if we don’t end up together, it’ll be because that was the choice you made, and I’ll respect it. But don’t you think for a second that I’m going to be deterred because you need time to heal. You’ll have all the time you need, but in the meantime I'm making sure you know I’m here. And that I’ll always be here regardless.”

Evan kisses me like a man who has waited a decade to do so. Because he has.

All this time. It’s always been Evan.