You Never Forget Your First: And He Just Might Be the Death of Me

by Millie Perez

“Now we go home and pretend that there is a life worth living after mom. And hopefully sometime real soon, we can actually start to believe it.”

He was always nice to me, and even ignored Priscilla when she tried to exclude me from the group. Which is probably one of the many reasons that Evan Cooper was my first crush. Ever.

I’m now wiping away tears of laughter instead of grief, and it feels like the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding since learning of my mother’s diagnosis, is released. All thanks to Evan Cooper.

“I wasn’t. But you texted us to be here today, so here I am.” He smirks as he walks back to his seat.

You see, sometimes you look back at your first crush and think, “What the hell was I thinking?” But this is not the case with Evan. He is kind, funny and devastatingly handsome. He’s 6’4, annoyingly fit and knows how to dress well. He has the face of 2022 Chris Evans, trimmed beard and all, and the charm and swagger of Channing Tatum. Life can be so cruel sometimes, ladies. And to top it all off, he’s now filthy rich. Cover of Forbes magazine rich.

I keep scanning the crew until my eyes land on Evan and see that he’s lost most of the color in his face, his mouth pulled into a deep frown staring at his beer.

When I’m about to make a comment about Evan’s look of disdain, he looks up and locks eyes with me. His usual bright blue eyes seem to have now taken on a darker color. He lifts his fresh glass of champagne in my direction and plasters on a smile. “To the bride and groom.”

Call me old fashioned, but I do want to marry for love someday, and not settle for what’s left on the table out of desperation.”

Ouch

Wow, I mean I didn’t know that was the fairytale you were banking on, but I guess I should say congrats instead of pointing out the painfully obvious?” Evan spits. “Which is what, Evan?” I yell. The whole pub can probably hear us, but I’m so livid that I can feel my pulse on the tips of my ears. He huffs out a breath and lowers his voice so only I can hear. “That you deserve better.”

“First of all, if this guy had any sense to him, he would have never allowed that first breakup to ever happen, because he would have known that a woman like you isn’t something that comes by very often.”

“Amelia, I don’t care if you’re the type of girl who is into grand gestures or not, but that engagement story … yeah that’s not the story you want to tell your kids about, it’s not the once in a lifetime experience that you deserve.”

“And one last thing. Let’s say that for some reason he really couldn’t be here today. Fine. But what is stopping that man from picking you up here, in this bar, and saying a quick hello to your loved ones, even if it’s just for a minute. Not at some stupid sandwich shop a few blocks away. It’s not about him physically being here for you, but rather showing up for you. There’s a difference. And THAT, Amelia, is what you deserve.” He smacks the empty glass on the table, nearly shattering it.

“I told Sebastián I was staying this weekend at my dad’s place so I could help him with a couple things around the house, and have some father/daughter time. But it was my cover for getting all my party supply packages delivered over at my dad’s so he wouldn’t suspect anything. Once he knew I’d be gone, he decided to pick up an extra shift at the hospital, like he usually does when I stay with my dad. I texted him an hour ago and he confirmed that he was still at work. I swear I could work for the FBI if I wanted to, ya know,”

This screams him cheating on u while he thinks ur gone

Except this time, I’m not rushing home to game with my friends. I’m now on a mission to find where these “bad decisions” are taking place, so I can have a long overdue conversation with Little Miss Amelia.

“I can’t believe I let you convince me to leave the apartment looking like a hoochie,”

Lmaoooo yesssss

“Ha! Never! I would gladly use your tush as a pillow every night, but you eat cheese like everyday and refuse to accept the fact that you’re lactose intolerant.”

L O L O L

Besides, my girl here is in the market for a different kind of pumping.” Nikki winks.

🤣

The confession that kept me up most of the night. Amelia Nuñez has a crush on me. Had. First crush means she was just a kid, but what about now? To think that the woman who I’ve had embedded in my heart for the better part of a decade, at one time had feelings for me.

Thanks for the hospitality. I’m stealing your clothes, so I don’t have to do the walk of shame in last night’s outfit. I left something behind so it’s an even trade. You’re still an asshole ☺ Amelia I would be laughing at this note, if the second item she left behind hadn’t been her thong.

“Kicking people out of their own beds…not letting them into family gatherings? Tsk tsk.” He gently pushes past me and into the entryway, then leans down and whispers into my ear, “Remind me to teach you some manners later tonight.”

He kisses my knuckles then gently lowers my hand, keeping it in his while he tugs me further along the hallway.

He rubs his jaw while trying to hide the start of a smile.

NOT THE JAW RUB

After all these years of secretly pining for her, I can never let an opportunity pass where I can hold her hand or touch the small of her back. Fuck, I even kissed her hand today. I’m such a goner.

“Miami. When I came to visit you after you had broken up with your high school sweetheart. I wasn’t there because I was on a business trip. I flew down because I knew it was your birthday, and I wanted to celebrate with you. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was about to have the best night of my life with the girl who's always had my heart.”

“Amelia, we’ve already fought about this before. You deserve better than fine. You deserve the very best, and I’m going to give it to you. Just you wait and see.”

“Don’t worry, I fully intend on earning that heart of yours.”

Evan kisses me like a man who has waited a decade to do so. Because he has.

“But when I’m ready, it’s you. If you’re willing to wait a while until I’m ready, you’re the person I want to be with, have dreamt of—”

“It’s you, Evan. It’s always been you,”