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“And we have chickens too,” Gennie said, “but they’re dumb bitches.”
“Can I have a date with Shay?” My life was coming full circle in strange, unpleasant ways, and I didn’t get a chance to respond before Gennie added, “I can show you my room and we can go on the swings and we’ll have so much fun!” She set Brownie on the ground and ran toward me, her hands pressed together like she was praying. “Please, Noah. Please. No one ever wants to come over for a playdate with me.” And that basically broke me.
“Figure out if I’m marrying you, okay? Good.” I watched as he headed in the direction of the goats with his new body and new personality. And his marriage proposal.
Noah cut Gennie’s food into bite-sized pieces and handed the plate back to her before sitting down. “How old do you have to be to make your hair pink?” she asked. “Oh my god,” he said under his breath.
“I know it’s insane to ask this but if you can go along with me for five minutes, I will personally plow and plant your fields whenever you want it. Okay?” I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. Not when those words went in one ear and landed right between my legs. “Just follow my lead,” he whispered. “Please.” I had no idea what was happening but Noah was so close and he was holding me so tight that it didn’t matter. And that please had rumbled over his lips in the very best way, like an apology begged a moment before sinning.
When I pulled away, I said, “I am sorry.” Shay shook her head. “Don’t be. You can use me any time you need to fend off the thirsty women of Friendship. There must be dozens of them. I’ll break their hearts for you. Destroy their dreams.” “You sound…excited.”
“I’m not sure. Is there something you’d share with me?” Only everything in the entire world.
“Markets are boring as shit,” Gennie said. A beat passed before she slapped a hand over her mouth. “I didn’t say anything.” “Not a peep,” Shay replied. “I didn’t hear a word,” Grace said.
“Bodies are extremely temporary and they’re the least interesting things about us. They carry us around while we’re on this earth and there’s nothing more I can ask from my body than that. I certainly wouldn’t spend any time worrying about the size or shape of anyone else’s body. Not when I could care about their heart and their mind instead.”
“How did you get here so fast?” She picked up her phone, peered at the time. “That was only fifteen minutes. Wait. Sixteen.” Because my wife was alone and upset in a strange bar and speed limits don’t apply in those situations.
“Sweetheart, I don’t have a single clue what you’re trying to do here but I know you need to stop spending all your time wondering what you did wrong when these half-assed people leave you. Stop giving yourself to people who have no hope of ever playing on your level. Stop chasing people who don’t know how to show up for you. It’s a waste of your time and so are they. Let them go. Let the door hit them on the ass on the way out. They’re the ones who fucked up. Not you.”
“Doll. I’ve heard every inch of this story. In my professional opinion, based upon the conclusive evidence I gathered with my own two eyes a couple of weeks ago, that boy adores you and he doesn’t know what to do about that. Also, he’s not great at speaking words. In case you haven’t noticed. He needs to put all his misery to good use and you need to bend over and take it.”
“Thank you. This has been the best birthday. I can’t believe you did all of this for me.” “You deserve it,” I said. She deserved everything, even if I couldn’t be the one to give it to her.
“I-I guess so,” I stammered. Was it getting hotter in here? He traced the shell of my ear and down the side of my neck, his cheeks reddening as he glanced at my cow earrings. “Cute.” Much, much hotter.
“That thing is a lawsuit waiting to happen,” I said as we stumbled off the tilt-a-whirl. “Too much tilting. Too much whirling. Someone is going to get vertigo and sue the shit out of this town.
I knew everything there was to know about contentment. This was it, right here. The woman who’d ruined me for all others tucked beside me, her clothes scattered on the floor of my bedroom, and the knowledge that I was forever changed pulsing in my chest.
He dropped his arms to the table. “But how did you know?” Gennie held up a finger. “You were looking at marriage stuff on your computer, you got dressed up in fancy clothes that one day and when I asked why you were dressed up, you said it was for adult business, and you guys are really obvious with all the love shit.” “The love shit,” Noah repeated.
“Just because I can plow through by myself doesn’t mean I want to,” I said. “Fuck, Shay. Let me need you, okay?”
I felt like I’d been waiting a very long time for someone who knew how to shatter me and also wanted to pick up all the pieces.
He scowled with his whole face. “Can I lick your tits and tell you I love you when I wake up tomorrow?” “I don’t see why not.”
She gave field hockey a try this past spring. Who would’ve guessed she’d enjoy wielding a stick and running around in a mask while yelling her ass off? Shocking.
“All I want is for this to be your choice,” I said. I grabbed her by the waist and sat her on the table, stepping between her legs. “I intend to keep you for all of your tomorrows but I don’t want to keep this marriage unless it’s the one you want. We can do it all over. Throw a party and invite all of our people. Or invite no one at all. We can end this and start fresh without the pressure of the estate and—and everything else that you went through. I want our marriage to be your choice and not a last resort.”
