Looking back now, I had no idea what it was that convinced me sex with the ex was a smart choice but the person before him had always made me feel safe. I could say anything, do anything, and it wouldn’t be wrong. I knew I’d never get my vulnerabilities thrown back in my face and I’d trusted that person. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever trusted the ex that way. I’d wanted to trust him and I think I wanted it just enough to convince myself that I did. I’d convinced myself of so many things. It didn’t seem possible to swallow all those lies and half-truths while telling myself I had everything I’d ever
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