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“This is it, isn’t it?” “What?” “The start of your villain era,” she said. “The ‘no fucks given, ask me if I care, throw out your whole life and start over just because you feel like it’ era.”
Gennie took that moment to stab her sword at the ground and announce, “I’m bored as a motherfucker.”
With an annoyed shake of my head, I studied the goats. “Would it have killed any of you to be rude or offensive? You have no problem doing that during yoga. You ate that woman’s hat the other day, Lacey, but now you’re playing nice? That’s some very convenient bullshit.”
He shoved his phone in his back pocket and spared me a quick glance. “Figure out if I’m marrying you, okay? Good.”
“Any other businesses I should know about?” He glanced at the ceiling for a second, as if he had trouble recalling the details of his empire. “Summertime ice cream stand down on Old County Road, near the mouth of the cove. There’s also honey and jams—” “That’s Noah’s favorite.” Gennie returned to the kitchen wearing her eye patch and dragging the tip of her sword along the floor. She marched toward the door. “All of his secret projects are about jam. He’s like Blackbeard but for jam. But no heads cutting off.”
“No, no.” She waved me off. “Carrying bags full of books is my cardio.”
“I’m not sure. Is there something you’d share with me?” Only everything in the entire world.
She was helping me out—or so I’d led her to believe—and I was repaying her by growing a garden of the most filthy thoughts I’d had in years. What the fuck was wrong with me?
“The dogs went crazy last night,” Gennie said. “Do you want me to tell you about it?” “Definitely,” Grace replied. “Start at the beginning. Leave nothing out. What are the dogs’ names?” “Bernie Sanders, Elliot Stabler, Olivia Benson, Sandra Day O’Connor, and RuPaul were the troublemakers,” Gennie said.
“Hi. You don’t know me. Or I’m guessing you don’t since our girl has been playing fast and loose with the details these days.” She held out her hand. “I’m Jaime Rouselle. I taught first grade next to Shay for six years until she embarked upon this fantastic voyage. In addition to being her best friend and coteacher, I’m also in very deep with an assortment of unsavories. You know what I’m talking about. Motorcycle gangs, mafia. And then there’s the worst of them—” She leaned in close. “Private equity guys.”
Just an avocado of a relationship. You know how it is. Perfect one day, complete trash the next.
Hope was such a sticky thing. And it was sneaky too. Always showing up in the moments it was least welcome.
“Blueberry season is over for the year. We’re doing peaches, melons, and early season apples. And quince. Quince is big.” “What…is quince, exactly?” He dipped a hand into his pocket and gave a bashful grin. “It looks like a pear. Green skin, golden-yellow fruit, seeds on the inside. Tart. Super tart. No one eats it raw. Great for jams though. Exceptional for balancing sweetness and adding dimension.” “Quince.” I said it slowly. “Sounds like a jam good time.”
“We’re in a deathtrap carnival ride. We can figure out the future if we live to see tomorrow.”
It’s late and you are the best thing that’s ever been in this bed and I want you to stay. With me.”
“You are not in trouble and I’m not upset,” Noah said. “I am not yelling. Right? Can we agree on that?” Instead of answering, Gennie asked, “Was it supposed to be a secret from me?” He glanced between me and Gennie. I went looking for a mixing bowl. “So, you see,” he started, “it wasn’t a secret so much as—” “You guys would make the worst pirates,” she yelled. “You’d never take over any ships or steal any loot.”
“You were looking at marriage stuff on your computer, you got dressed up in fancy clothes that one day and when I asked why you were dressed up, you said it was for adult business, and you guys are really obvious with all the love shit.”
Was it still a gasp if it came from the lusty region of France or was it just a sparkling moan?
And I moved in with him because the villagers gathered outside his house and essentially threw flowers and wine at us and then broke into song.”
I’m still figuring out what it is I want and what I’ve convinced myself to want.”
I hated this guy. I fucking hated him. Later, I’d organize that hate into sections and categories, but right now he was a fucking fuckhead fucker and I wished nothing but misery upon him.
The Bluest of Blue Grays, Sometimes I wonder if my entire life is going to be a series of mistakes. One after another, and I don’t see any of them coming until they fly over my head. I feel like everyone else has a built-in sensor to know when they’re on the verge of fucking it all up and I just have to find out what happens when I fuck it up because I don’t have that mechanism. Promise me you’ll stop me before I fuck everything up. You’re my only hope. Love eternal,
“Adults are supposed to go on dates and do romantic shit so they can like each other,” Gennie continued.
“I intend to keep you for all of your tomorrows
