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gorgeous and made of mysteries and momentarily mine,
Go. Get there. Do something real, even if you hate it.”
“I’m not sure. Is there something you’d share with me?” Only everything in the entire world.
“What are you doing?” I grabbed the card from her, shoved it back in the small bag at her hip. I hadn’t noticed the thin purple strap crossed over her torso until now. “There is no way I’m letting you—no. Put your money away.” I zipped the purse for her and then reached for my wallet, blindly passing some bills to the person watching this affair unfold from behind the counter. I thought I was finished. I’d put the matter down and pulled my hands from her pockets. Two birds and such. But I couldn’t stop myself from adding, “Not when you’re with me.”
“Bodies are extremely temporary and they’re the least interesting things about us. They carry us around while we’re on this earth and there’s nothing more I can ask from my body than that. I certainly wouldn’t spend any time worrying about the size or shape of anyone else’s body. Not when I could care about their heart and their mind instead.”
The cute bartender said it’s Billy’s but also Woodchuckers. Shay: He says I can throw some axes if I want. He’ll set me up. Noah: Tell the cute bartender you’re married. Shay: I’m only a little married. Noah: Like you’re only a little drunk?
“Sweetheart, I don’t have a single clue what you’re trying to do here but I know you need to stop spending all your time wondering what you did wrong when these half-assed people leave you. Stop giving yourself to people who have no hope of ever playing on your level. Stop chasing people who don’t know how to show up for you. It’s a waste of your time and so are they. Let them go. Let the door hit them on the ass on the way out. They’re the ones who fucked up. Not you.”
“Allow me to make myself clear. I don’t give a pickled fuck how or why we came to be married. You are my wife. If you need some fun, you’ll call me. I’ll be the one taking care of you. I’ll give you anything you want, including a properly prepared gin and tonic. If you can’t accept that, you’re welcome to divorce me now.”
I can’t believe you did all of this for me.” “You deserve it,” I said. She deserved everything, even if I couldn’t be the one to give it to her.
“I’m fine,” I said, patting his forearm. “I just need you to hold me for a minute.”
I hated that—again—my life felt permanently temporary.
“Just because I can plow through by myself doesn’t mean I want to,” I said. “Fuck, Shay. Let me need you, okay?”
felt like I’d been waiting a very long time for someone who knew how to shatter me and also wanted to pick up all the pieces.
