8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

by Jay Shetty

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being. —HAFIZ

Loneliness makes us rush into relationships; it keeps us in the wrong relationships; and it urges us to accept less than we deserve.

In fact, studies show that if we never allow ourselves solitude, it’s just plain harder for us to learn. In Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi writes, “Our current research with talented teenagers shows that many fail to develop their skills not because they have cognitive deficits, but because they cannot stand being alone.” His research found that young people were less likely to develop creative skills like playing an instrument or writing because the most effective practice of these abilities is often done while alone.

Self-control is the time and space you create between the moment when you’re attracted to something and the moment you react to it.