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Running already wasn’t my favorite thing to do in the world. I wouldn’t say it was in the top ten. Really, it wasn’t even in the top twenty. If I had to rank it, I’d put it after scrubbing my bathtub.
Relatable
Fuck. Shit. Oh shit, shit, shitttt.
A chapter is always good when it starts like this
Because my gut said this man wasn’t a ball of sunshine. I had a feeling he wasn’t even a night-light.
Grumpy X sunshine time
I’d go fuck myself then. I really hoped it was pain making him this bitchy.
I love a savage, mean-ish female
And I had self-control. I really did. There was a box of cookies that I managed to only eat two of at a time.
Could not be me
Maybe it was time I started playing Call of Duty again so I could get used to dealing with moody man-boys.
LOL video game moment
Loneliness was a hemorrhoid you couldn’t see but could always feel was there.
Love me a weird analogy
Why hadn’t I had sex when I had the chance?
Real
“I’m trying to rest… and your stomach won’t quit making noise.” I just looked at him. “It didn’t get my memo that it needed to be quiet. I’ll let it know,” I mumbled, dryly.
Okay i lied grumpy x grumpy even better
If someone examined my cells under a microscope right now, they’d probably discover they were shaped like middle fingers at this point.
New fave book quote
“Why are you so beautiful?” I whispered. He didn’t even sound sarcastic as he answered, “Superior genetics. Go back to sleep.”
LMAO i wish
I was hot. I was cold. Hot, cold, hot, cold.
Okay Katy perry
I had this butthole. My new friend.
Butthole friends>>
This was the start of the next phase in my life. Homeless. Penniless. Exposed. But it was a new chapter. Maybe even a new book.
Def volume 2
I’m ready to stop hearing your stomach grumbling. It’s been more talkative than you. I didn’t think that was possible.”
LMAO
“I’m growing on you, huh?” “Like an ingrown hair.”
LOL
Two horny virgins.
THIS JS WILD
