Three to Get Deadly (Stephanie Plum, #3)

by Janet Evanovich

I thought of Mary Lou’s kid with the graham crackers smeared in his hair, and felt better about being a bounty hunter. You see, it could always be worse, I thought. I could be a schoolteacher.

HAhahha

I wasn’t such a bad person. I only cheated a little on my taxes, and I paid most of my bills. I didn’t cuss at old people (at least not to their face). I didn’t do drugs. So why was I having such rotten luck?

A chuck under the chin. What was that? In the past, Morelli had tried to stick his tongue down my throat. Or at the very least he’d make a lewd suggestion. I was suspicious of a chuck under the chin. Now that I thought about it, he’d been a perfect gentleman when he’d brought the pizza. And what about last night? He’d left without so much as a handshake.

Fumbling

“You come from a long line of scary women,” Ranger finally said.

If I had to name the single most influential person in my life it would have to be Wonder Woman.

Maybe I should drop a few pounds, I thought, slumping down the stairs. Maybe I should have some red highlights put in my hair.

fuck joe

Stephanie Plum’s rule of thumb for mental health—always procrastinate the unpleasant. After all, I could get run over by a truck tomorrow and never have to come to terms with the attack at all.

The corners are always busy after church. After church is time to pick up a ho and get high.”

“If you have another dead guy in your car I don’t want to hear about it.” “This is a social call.” “Even worse.” The chest flutterings stopped. “What kind of a crack is that?”

Ouch

“It’s you. You’re a walking disaster. A man would have to be a total masochist to be interested in you.” “Okay,” I said. “Maybe I will have another schnapps.”

Wtf

“You’re impossible. You’re not worth the effort.”

WTF

“So why’d you part ways with this Dickie Orr person?” Lula asked. “He’s a jerk.” “Good enough for me,” she said. “I hate him already.”

Lulas a real one

The perfect office for a guy with a big stupid dick.

HAhahaah

“He gave you a pretty good recommendation, too. Read it on the bathroom wall of Mario’s Sub Shop over ten years ago, and I can still remember every word of it.”

HAhhahaaahah

There’s a limit to how far a woman can be pushed. I’d been gassed, attacked, stalked by masked men, lied to by Morelli and I’d been swindled by my mechanic. And I’d stayed pretty damn calm through it all. Threatening my hamster brought out a whole new set of rules. Threatening my hamster made me Godzilla. I had no intention of saying good-bye to my hamster.