None of This Is True

by Lisa Jewell

what do you do when you’re thirty years old if you’re not raising children? How do you spend your time?

literally doing whatever tf you want

That’s not what other husbands do. Only hers.

tea

Alix tries to hide her surprise. “Fifteen,” she repeats. “And he was…?” “Forty-two.”

not even a crane could pick up my jaw from how far it just dropped

The sight of her words on her screen sparks something inside Josie. A kind of childish delight. Something like a crush.

hmmm sounds gay

I sat in a pub with a forty-two-year-old man and I was fifteen and he poured a shot of vodka into my lemonade and he kissed me

I-

Josie tucks the hand wash into the back of her underwear drawer with the Nespresso pod. It came in such a pretty bottle: dark gray with a cherry-blossom print on it, like Japanese art. And it smells like Alix.

im so intrigued to see where this goes

“Yes. I didn’t find out he was married until I was eighteen.”

oh no girl

And sometimes I make myself imagine what it would be like if Walter died, to see if maybe that will make me know if I love him or not, and I really do think, if he died, everything would be better. And surely, if that’s the way I feel, then I don’t really love him? Do I?”

oh alright