“It was just there. Like an invisible monster in the room.” “A monster?” “Yes. That’s what it felt like. His interest in me. It felt like a monster.” “So, you were scared of him?” “Not of him. No. He was nice. I was scared of his wanting me. I couldn’t believe that nobody else could see it. Only me. It was so big and so real. But my mother didn’t see it. Helen didn’t see it. But I saw it. And I was scared of it.” “So, it didn’t feel like power then?” “Well, no. And yes. It felt like both things at the same time. It was confusing. I became obsessed with the idea of him. But it was another year
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