Quietly Hostile

by Samantha Irby

If a tree falls on a teenage boy and you walk by and lift it off him, saving his life, just walk away without saying a word and buy yourself a beer, because the acknowledgment or gratitude you might expect will never come, and if you stand towering over him, and ask for it, you will look like a groveling simp. Cool people don’t need supplication from a little bitch who can’t vote and smells like milk!!!!!!!!!

My thoughts everyday at work