I’m gonna take a handful of chips even though there’s no good way to eat them at a party; if I take as many as I want, then it’s just my greedy ass rudely walking around making small talk with a Miss Vickie’s salt-and-vinegar bag strapped to my muzzle like I’m a horse, but if I take a socially acceptable amount, I’m standing in the middle of a crowded room balancing two and a half thin-sliced potato crisps on an itty-bitty cocktail napkin.
