Quietly Hostile

by Samantha Irby

Learn a new skill? Where and also how and also with what brain?

You can use “I like it!” (the exclamation point is necessary) any time some freak questions a regular-ass thing you enjoy, and it’ll swipe their legs out from under them every single time, and you can stand over their quivering body with your subpar tastes and laugh your face off.

This might be “easy” for me to say as a person whose ideal marriage proposal would go something like, “I have health insurance, and I also love Fritos.