When You Least Expect It

by Haley Cass

“Season’s greetings, in-fucking-deed,”

Buying forgiveness: one of the perks of being the cool, single aunt.

“A lesbian. You can say it, it’s not a bad word.”

I, Hannah Shailene Dalton, will not refer to myself as an idiot in the presence of Caroline Amy Parker. I acknowledge that I have nothing to be ashamed of for living my life to the best of my ability.

I, Caroline Amy Parker, promise Hannah Shailene Dalton that there is never any judgment regarding her marriage and the choices she made to survive.

“It’s just so not who I thought I would be.”

Sometimes, she thinks, boundaries are overrated.

“Who wouldn’t fall for Hannah, at least a little?” She asks the universe.

“She doesn’t give the impression that she’s very nice.”

“You’re going to be so fucked, and not in any fun way.”

Fuck the holidays. They really are out to get her.