Pumpkin Spice and Not So Nice

by Becky Monson

Jenna Peterson’s Guide to Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men: When dating an emotionally unavailable man, get ready for disappointment. Because there’s going to be a lot of it.

I was the one before the true love, which makes me a pre-love. The rehearsal love. The before true love.

You made me see things I hadn’t seen before. You’ve helped me so much. I’m a different man because of you. I can never thank you enough. But you just aren’t enough for me.

My toxic trait is that people tend to open up to me. It’s like I have a sign on my head that says, Dump your problems on Jenna! Which makes me a magnet for emotionally unavailable men.

This is how it works for me: I meet a man. He’s emotionally unavailable. I’m instantly attracted to said man. We start dating. I help him explore his emotions because of aforementioned gift and/or toxic trait. He feels his feelings, tells me how important I am in his life, and then breaks up with me. Then he takes his newfound emotionally open existence and finds the woman of his dreams and they live happily ever after.

Jenna Peterson’s Guide to Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men: Don’t be fooled into believing that emotionally unavailable men don’t have deep feelings. They have a lot, in fact, but they don’t know how to show it. So get your shovel out and hone those detective skills, because you’re going to have to dig deep to find them.

Jenna Peterson’s Guide to Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men: Saying thank you is hard for a man if he’s not in touch with his feelings. Don’t take it personally even if you really, really, really want to.

You’ll replay a lot of conversations in your mind and dwell on lots of things you wish you would have or could have said. Try not to waste your brainpower on it.

Don’t expect apologies. They are about as frequent as actual sightings of bigfoot.

I’m still paying off my debt to my mother for having to birth and raise me. A fact she brings up often.

Asking for a commitment will be like trying to get blood from a stone. Expect excuses.

I think sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot. Clearly, I am.

“She returned something to me that I’d lost a month ago, and I think I fell for her then.”

The things Aidan saw in me . . . those are the things that matter. But if I’m not willing to talk about the small things, then I’m probably not talking about the big things either.