Pumpkin Spice and Not So Nice

by Becky Monson

She’s taught me many things, but the cautionary tale about overplucking her brows in the late 90s has been some of her most important work.

I’ll take emotional unavailability for five hundred, Alex.

“Bye, lady with a vagina,” Jonathan yells at me as they go, my sister giving him a stern look, which only serves to scare the poor kid. How dare he embarrass her in public like that. Serves her right for birthing supergeniuses. “Hey, that’s aunt with a vagina to you, mister,” I yell back.