The Ashes & the Star-Cursed King (Crowns of Nyaxia, #2)

by Carissa Broadbent

“Knock on that door,” I breathed, “one more fucking time.” My husband smiled at me, lowering his raised fist, which had indeed been ready to knock one more fucking time. “There she is.”

“Do you think I’m going to beg for your respect? I don’t need your respect. Your fear will do. Bow.”

We’ll rip apart the worlds that subjugated both of us, and from the ashes we’ll build something new.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t smell you, princess?”

“I hate this place.” He exhaled the words, ragged, like he’d torn them from deep in his chest. “I hate these people. I hate this castle. I hate this fucking crown. But I don’t hate you, Oraya. Not even a little.”

It was all her. Deadly and stunning. Even her hatred was fucking beautiful.

“What is your word worth?” “Not much. It’s seen better days. A little banged-up. But it’s all I have to offer, unfortunately.”

Oraya made a face of such abject disgust, I wished I could capture it and keep it for the next time I didn’t have words to describe how much I hated something.

“Don’t fucking pity me,” I hissed. “Give me one honest thing, Raihn Ashraj. I want to hear someone say it.”

This bitch did not get to be the one to kill me.

“Was I right?” Raihn said, infuriatingly smugly. “Mm,” I said, between bites. “I’ll take that as, ‘Delicious, Raihn. Thank you for this meal cooked with love, and also for saving my life.’”

“You’re made for the sky, Oraya. Never let anyone take that away from you. Of course you’ll fly again.” He released me and returned to my back. Under his breath, he muttered, “Like I’d ever let that happen.”

“I guess I’ve earned that face. But I’d come too far to let one woman with a knife bring me down.” Then, after a pause, “Well. That woman with a knife. Met another one who was a whole different story.”

I’d regret it if I let him keep going. I knew that whatever he said to me would hurt. Would be complicated. And yet, I said, “One honest thing.”

“To die, rather than killing you?” he said quietly. “Yes. That would have been worth it. Even I had to draw a line somewhere. And you’re the line, Oraya.”

Your soul is my soul. Your blood is my blood. Your heart is my heart.

But of all he grieves for his fading humanity, the loss of time’s mark is the most devastating. A life in which nothing means anything is not a life at all.

So many regrets in the end. Never you.

I tell you to do one thing, and that thing is just don’t do anything, and you still can’t bring yourselves to listen to me?”

You don’t belong here, little serpent, Vincent whispered in my ear. Here among the mice.

Raihn murmured in my ear, “You brag about winning the Kejari, but you don’t know how to order a beer?” My face heated.

“Were you following me?” He set the mugs down and raised his palms. “Easy, viper. I’m here for the same reasons you are. The seductive allure of piss beer. Good to know it’s grown on you.”

“But love. A powerful drug. Not enough to convince him. Not enough to make him the optimist his young wife was. But enough to make him think a dangerous word: Maybe.

“And do you know, dove, what that miserable cunt did then?” He didn’t wait for an answer. Didn’t breathe. Didn’t blink. “She laughed at him,” he said. “And then she killed him.”

“I understand what it feels like to not have time. You and I, we don’t get centuries to play our games like they do. And I think it makes us better. More ruthless. More willing to do what needs to be done.”

“I know better than to make a deal with a desperate man,” I said. “Besides, you’re right. I am tired of being caged. I recognize bars when I see them.”

He’d raised me to look at the bars of my cage and call them trees.

“Thank you, Mische. When I have all these nobles blowing smoke up my ass, it’s nice to have you to bring me back down.” She patted my shoulder. “You’re welcome.”

“I’d spend a lifetime at the tip of your blade, and it would have been worth it.”

Power hurts. It requires sacrifice. Do you want to change this world, little serpent? Climb the bars until you’re so high no one can catch you.

Who wins? she asks him, tears in her eyes. Who wins if he kills you?

“I can’t fucking believe you,” I snarled. His face shifted in the beginnings of surprise. “Everything has just gotten interesting,” I said, “and you think I’m just going to run away?

“You’re vicious,” he murmured. He had lifted his head just enough to watch me, his gaze predatory, like he’d rather die than blink.

“Let me make you the queen that you are. Let me guard your body, your soul, your heart. Let me spend the rest of my fucking pathetic life at your mercy. If I need to die, then let me do it by your hand. Please.”

for fuck’s sake, princess, I’m begging you, let me go to my knees for you.”

I hate you because I let you hurt me. I hate you because I grieved you. I hate you because I don’t.

“Well, I think this is you, princess,” Raihn said, hands on his hips. “Go on over and shout hello. We’ll kill whatever runs out at you.”

I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me. I’m sorry I made you feel like it wouldn’t matter if you did.

“Do you wish you’d said no?” I murmured. I didn’t even need to specify what I was talking about. He took a long time to respond. “I cursed myself for that answer,” he said at last, “for a long, long time. Death would have been better than those next seventy years. But... maybe there’s something to be said for the years that came after that.” His eyes flicked to me, crinkling slightly with an almost-smile. “Maybe even the years that come after this one.”

“Just want you to know, Oraya,” he murmured, “that you were the best part of it. The best part of all of it.”

And then, with a single swift movement, he was on his knees beside my bed, hands cradling my face like he wanted to make sure I was real.

She looked at him like he was the sun. And he looked at her like she was the moon.”

“You haven’t bathed since you’ve gotten here, have you?” He let out a snort. “Ix’s tits, princess. What a charmer you are.” “I’m in your armpit. I can’t not notice.” “I had more important things to worry about than bathing. Besides, I hear some women find a natural musk attractive. Try to have that attitude.”

Loving Oraya was terrifying. It required me to see things I didn’t want to see. Face things I didn’t want to face. Allow another soul to witness parts of myself I didn’t even want to acknowledge.

It would be awfully pathetic if, after everything I’d been through, a fall down a flight of Goddess-damned stairs was the thing to take me now.

71 ORAYA

😭💔 Vincent

“The things you’ve seen here have so tainted your image of me? I meant to give this place all my greatest achievements, my greatest ambitions. Instead, it became a monument to all my greatest mistakes.” So many mistakes in the end. Never you.

the absence of the heartbeat I was looking for made me miss the one that remained.

I will raise you. I will protect myself from you by protecting you from a world that would teach you how to kill me.

“I tried, Oraya,” he murmured. “I tried.”