I Choose Darkness

by Jenny Lawson

I am one of the small group of people who go to Halloween stores not for temporary plastic decorations but for actual interior design ideas.

“Mrs. E.T.,” she said finally, and I high-fived her as we set back feminism several years from the specialty aisle of the Piggly Wiggly.

Angsty teen me threw away a lot of stuff that I wish I’d been a little more careful with, including rationality, perspective, and my virginity.