Again. Not being paid by the word. Me: I know but, like, this seems important and is probably the most educational part of this whole essay. Did you know that pumpkins were berries? My editor: For real? I thought they were gourds. Me: They are squashes, gourds, AND fruits. They are the most trying-too-hard of all the foods. My editor: Wait, does that mean watermelons are berries? Are cucumbers gourds? Me: YES AND YES. ALL BETS ARE OFF. TRUST NOTHING.
