The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System: Ren Zha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong (Novel) Vol. 4

by Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù

They looked exactly like two “Mushroom-Picking Little Girls”10 walking out the door, hand in hand. ╭(′▽`)╭(′▽`)╯

Could you not head canon me as such a loving Holy Father!? I really had just forgotten! I can’t live up to your divine expectations!

“It’s been a while,” said Shen Qingqiu. “The madam is even lovelier than she was when last we met.” This beautiful woman was Madam Meiyin. She waved away the enamored male customers by her table, clearing out space for them while smiling delightedly. “The immortal master is radiant with happiness today. So? Did my words from our last meeting not all prove true?” Though she was certainly talking to Shen Qingqiu, her eyes were turned in Luo Binghe’s direction, and her flirtatious air was both enchanting and seductive, making clear her true intentions. It had been a long time since Shen Qingqiu recalled the fortune Madam Meiyin had told for him way back when, but the keywords had been: younger; illustrious status; outstanding talent; first-class beauty; often together; deeply in love… Shen Qingqiu realized with a shock that every single one had been dead-on. “This Shen deeply admires the madam’s skill,” he said. “However, it seems that back then, you forgot to tell me the most important thing.” She’d gone on and on, hyping it all up until it had practically been raining flowers, but she’d failed to say: “Shen Qingqiu, your fated partner is a fucking man!”

As he watched the Badass Darkened Demon Lord Luo Binghe work patiently, acting as sweet as a true apple of his eye, Shen Qingqiu inevitably began to float with happiness. It felt so wonderful; his gaze on Luo Binghe couldn’t help but fill with more and more parental affection. Meanwhile, with every two lines Luo Binghe spoke, he looked over at Shen Qingqiu as well—and once his gaze shifted over, it was unable to leave. In this way, master and disciple spent a long period of time making eyes at each other before Shen Qingqiu suddenly and finally snapped out of it. How immoral were they being?!

On their way to the room in question, Luo Binghe kept trying to hold his hand. Shen Qingqiu was 1) worried about outsiders, and 2) wanted to tease him, so he purposely refused to let him. The two of them skirted around each other, whipping out all sorts of tricks. If anyone from the cultivation world or Demon Realm had seen this master and disciple duo using their sect’s techniques to play fight (flirt), until those arts were unrecognizable, they would definitely have coughed up three liters of blood.

“What was your first impression of your partner?” Luo Binghe continued to reminisce. “A lofty, untouchable immortal,” he said buoyantly. “A small bun,” Shen Qingqiu said frankly. And a handsome little sprout.

Shen Qingqiu is basically a kindergarten teacher who’s taking care of a kid!

“When you’re together, what makes your heart race the most?” “When he pats my head and gives me instructions,” Luo Binghe said earnestly. “Uh, when he tearfully begs me for something,” said Shen Qingqiu. Luo Binghe went on, “And also when he scolds me, and hits me…”

“Shizun, marry yourself to me, won’t you?”

Shen Qingqiu’s expression cracked, just a bit. Having noticed how unusual Shen Qingqiu’s expression was, Luo Binghe hurriedly said, “Shizun, if you don’t want to marry yourself to me, I could also marry myself to you!” When Shen Qingqiu didn’t reply, Luo Binghe’s voice went monotone, and he asked again, “Shizun, are you willing to…to…”—his Adam’s apple trembled more and more, and his voice began to quiver as well— “…marry…me?” Shen Qingqiu still didn’t say anything. Bit by bit, the fire in Luo Binghe’s eyes dimmed. After a long time, he said in a hoarse voice, “If Shizun is unwilling, I… I…” “Slow down,” said Shen Qingqiu. “You…” He struggled for a while. “So, these past few days, you were acting so odd because…you wanted to ask me this?” Luo Binghe stared at him, then carefully nodded twice. Shen Qingqiu found the next few words difficult to get out of his mouth. “So you’re…pro…pro…?” Luo Binghe helped him finish. “This disciple is…proposing to Shizun.” Shen Qingqiu was speechless. He sat down at the table and buried his face in his right hand. He didn’t know what he should say or do. He should have found it absurd. Even though he and Luo Binghe had confirmed their relationship a long time ago, he had never imagined that Luo Binghe would actually… How should he put it? Propose to him. Holy shit, he had proposed to him. This word was profoundly frightening when applied to a young man like him. And who knew how many times Luo Binghe had practiced in private just to say thes...

When you’re like this, how am I supposed to say no?

Shen Qingqiu sat on the bed, the clothes that Luo Binghe had pulled over him draped over his body, and stared at Luo Binghe’s slender and handsome silhouette from behind. He stared at him for a long while, and suddenly, as if he’d been possessed, mumbled, “Husband?” Luo Binghe’s body froze. As if his entire person had been nailed to the spot, he turned around extremely slowly. “Shizun, what did you just call me?” Shen Qingqiu’s tongue tied itself in knots. Eh? He wanted to explain, but there was nothing to explain. “This, this master… Um, I, um, hmm…” As they said, people shouldn’t trigger death flags. He’d just said he couldn’t embarrass himself any further in this lifetime, and then he’d gone and embarrassed himself more right away! This time, Luo Binghe hadn’t pushed him to the messy brink of passion, nor had his heart been softened by Luo Binghe’s tears; there was no excuse. That was to say, he had simply, for some reason, wanted to try calling him that. But afterward, he was so embarrassed that he practically wanted to dig himself a hole on the spot—or bash himself to death against a chunk of tofu. In the end, Shen Qingqiu finally gave up on explaining himself and lay back down in defeat. Forcing himself to remain calm, he said, “This master is hungry.” Luo Binghe lay back down with him, smiling. “Shizun, I’m hungry too.” “If you’re hungry, then go cook…” But being a bit late to breakfast once in a while was no big deal.