Nanny for the Neighbors

by Lily Gold

Standing next to Benny, I look like an anemic ginger goblin.

“Does it look like I’ve dropped an engagement ring at the bottom of her wine glass? This isn’t a relationship, it’s just dinner.”

I hate this part of myself. I’m not a scared, shy kid anymore, I’m a grown woman. But I’m still so desperate for people to like me. At any sign of conflict, I just become completely subservient. It’s gross.

“Holy shit, Seb,” she mumbles. “You’re a freaking nuclear weapon.” It was just as good for her, then. Thank God. I nuzzle into her soft curls, breathing in her sweet apple scent. “My dick causes widespread death and destruction?” “It belongs in a fucking containment facility. Made of concrete. Buried fifty feet underground. Somewhere near the Earth’s core, where no poor, innocent girl will accidentally stumble across it and get fucked to pieces.” She twitches as an aftershock runs through her. “I think I’m dead. My vagina exploded.”

“What were you expecting?” I wrap a curl around my finger, tugging it and watching it spring back into place. “Silent missionary sex where you counted your thrusts and thought about the upcoming tax season to get yourself off.”

I don’t have anyone. Anyone at all. For God’s sake, I just need one person. Someone who cares that my heart has just broken.