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“No, Ronan. I love you for free.”
Of course, death anniversaries will do that to you, though. They’re like evil little reminders dwelling on your calendar, not to be celebrated, but impossible to ignore.
“One hundred thousand to Ronan Kade!” the MC announces, and Daisy looks about ready to faint.
“Are you sleeping in your van?” I ask, ignoring her antagonizing question.
“It’s. None. Of. Your. Business,” she snaps,
I’ve lost control. It’s long gone. I act on impulse as I snatch her by the waist and hoist her over my shoulder, turning as if I mean to carry her home like this.
“I…don’t need your help.” “You don’t have to need it. Take it anyway.”
For a moment, I wonder if it’s some sort of twist of fate that brought us together twice in one night. If there was something more powerful at play when I left my apartment to walk the streets, without knowing she’d be walking them too.
I am emotionally bankrupt.
Felt that one in my soul 😩
When I open the bedroom door, he’s there. He doesn’t say a word, just stands against the wall as if he’s waiting for me. It must be obvious just how much I’ve been crying, and he must be incredibly confused, but it doesn’t matter. Because he doesn’t say a word, just opens his arms for me, and I step into them like a moth to a flame.
“In fact, I’m the one who needs out of the situation I’m in. There’s no excitement in my life anymore. And hearing you play today…it made me realize how much I need you.”
he unfastens the buttons on his dress shirt around his wrists and rolls up each sleeve to the elbow. Why is that so sexy? His thick forearms are on display, and I briefly wonder to myself if this is what seeing cleavage is like to men.
My favorite food is Wendy’s fries dipped in a Frosty.
My blood is boiling as I realize that he would rather sleep with her because he has no feelings for her, but he won’t sleep with me…because he does.
She crawled into my bed that night, and it was all over for me. Waking up with her in my arms was the nail in my coffin.
“Yes,” I reply without hesitation, thinking immediately about that summer with Shannon. “What happened?” she asks with softness in her eyes. “Right person, wrong time.”
His mouth crashes against mine like thunder. He tastes like bourbon and him, warm and heady. I’m devouring his kiss like I need it to survive. Hips grinding, fingers grabbing, teeth biting—we are a mess of desire and lust.
“But the things I want to do to you, baby girl, are dirty, filthy things. And you’re too fucking sweet for me.”
My head tilts back more as I stare up into his eyes. “You tell them your daddy said no.”
It’s not about the luxury or the age difference or anything other than how incredibly good I feel around him. Someone else’s happiness has never mattered so much to me in my entire life.
Night will come eventually, but for now, I want to bask in the sun.
As we crawl under the covers together, I write another song in my head as I drift off to sleep. This one is about a man who looks good in hospital lighting and the weight of secrets so heavy, they nearly drown me in the bubble bath.
“Then, I hope it’s a very slow night.” “I’ll pay Emerson to close the club right now,” he replies with a smile, and I laugh.
Abruptly, there’s a hand against Clay’s chest and someone pressing themselves between us. I half expect it to be Ronan, but then my eyes focus on the long black nails and delicate fingers of the woman touching Clay’s chest. “Down, boy,” she says in a soft, sexy command. I turn my head and gaze into the eyes of Eden St. Claire,
“Well, you are dating my best friend. I just thought we could get to know each other.”
It’s like Ronan has become my god and I can do nothing but obey. Somewhere in this abyss of pleasure, I lose sense of myself entirely.
“Marry me.”
I'm sorry.... WHAT 😳
Eden spins me, so I’m facing away from Ronan, and with her face close to mine, she smiles. “You should see the way he stares at you when you’re not looking. I’ve never seen him look like that before.” It takes me a moment before I realize she’s breaking character. This isn’t Madame
Kink talking. It’s Eden, his friend. My friend.
Life is nothing but a series of days in which you work, grieve, sleep, and eventually die. Alone.
If I had never felt the overwhelming rush of anguish, joy would be flat and pointless.
I toss my journal into my new backpack and rush out the door.
Eden St. Claire is holding a martini glass next to a grinning blonde. It takes me a moment to recognize Garrett’s fiancée, Mia. I coast their way with a look of surprise on my face.
But one face stands out. Sitting at the bar, a glass of bourbon in his hands, he watches me with a warm, comforting expression. Suddenly, I remember that day on the street in Paris. Just play for me, he said.
“Thank you,” I mumble into the mic, and the crowd quiets to a low hush. “My name is Daisy Moon. And this song…is called ‘The Highest Bidder.’”
When she sucks in a breath, another tear falls, but I don’t wipe that one away, because she doesn’t need me to—not anymore.
a confident voice at the back of the room calls out, “Ten thousand,” and we all turn to see Madame Kink herself holding up a hand with a devious grin.
Then, I’m falling. At least this time, he’s there to catch me.
Daisy, you idiot 🤦♀️
“What is it?” Daisy asks. When she pulls our clasped hands into her lap, he glances at her. “Your pregnancy test was positive.”
I KNEW IT!!!
he’s still holding me and our unborn child together, as if he would willingly walk into that fire again with the hope that it will all work out.
“Yes, Daddy is the richest man in the whole world.” And I know he’s not talking about money.
