The Anatomy Lesson (Vintage International)

by Philip Roth

His little mother, five feet two, had disappeared into the enormity of death.

But I do not have this good American optimism. I cannot stand to lose people. I cannot stand it. And I am not smiling. And I am not growing. I am disappearing!” Tick

Starving myself of experience and eating only words.

You got pockets in there, you tight bastard? He’s gone—they’re all gone. And I stand on the edge and wait to be pushed. You know how I live with death now? I go to bed at night and I say, ‘I don’t give a shit.’ That’s how you lose your fear of death—you don’t give a shit anymore.”