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Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental, and would, frankly, be pretty damn wild, don’t you think?
i already know she's gonna be funny
While the argument has been made for a number of villains to ascend to the coveted spot of Supreme Evil, notably Everild the Necromancer, Scorlisha Baneblade of the Mounted Beasts, The Plague Bringer Norasthmus, and Dave from Next Door Who Insists on Doing Yard Work at Dawn,
“She is…integral to my machinations.” The imp didn’t need to know the details of this particular screw up. “Surely there are warm bodies all across the realm, Master. Why tote this prostitute the entire journey?” “I’m not a prostitute!” she chirped. “Tell him I’m not a prostitute.”
How dare she make him do this? He was meant to be marching on the realm’s capital to bring about its ruin, not coddling some stranger and especially not feeling so flustered about doing it.
“You have resting villain face.” “I am a villain.” And then Amma, the girl he had abducted, dragged across the realm, and threatened to murder, actually rolled her eyes at him.
“And this someone,”—his jaw tightened—“they hurt you as well?” Eyes still cast down, shoulders hunched in, she simply nodded. Infernal darkness, it would have felt good to choke the life out of someone right then. “This someone is in Faebarrow still, yes?” She nodded again. “Where exactly?” When she looked up at him with confusion, he clarified, “I would like to pay them a visit.”
“If it’s not clear, they think I’m the one who’s abducted you.” He balled up the decree and stood, throwing it into the room’s corner. “Well, Damien, not to get all literal or anything, but you sort of did…” “Oh, don’t you dare,” he growled, pacing the room.
How dare she make him feel like…like this. Damien had never once been so concerned with another being that he would put his life’s work on hold—that he would forget about it even—until
“You’re a priest?” Damien looked over his robes, some god’s symbol, Osurehm he guessed, hanging from a chain around his neck. “And Amma sent you here to bless me?” Did she want him dead?
Darkness, if she could just stop being thoughtful for a little bit, he could be properly angry with her.
CHAPTER 31 THE FUTILITY OF FINDING HUMOR IN EVERY CHAPTER OF A ROMANTIC COMEDY
“Yes, Master, take her and flee.” Darkness, if that wasn’t what he’d been fantasizing about, squirreling away details of the keep, blind spots of the guards, the arcana he could sabotage and sneak past, since the moment they’d come here. However difficult it might be, the greater difficulty was enacting it at all without knowing what she wanted, and damn if that wasn’t completely counterintuitive to abduction and villainy.
A flicker of the waxing moon Ero reflected in his violet eyes as they took her in. For a moment, he looked hungry, starved even, and like he might devour her right there.
You can’t just pretend to take me and run away—you have to actually take me when you escape.” Damien took in a deep breath through a clenched jaw. “It would be my pleasure.”
hope you are prepared to leave this place again.” She nodded, fingers finding their way to his collar and the warm blood dripping down him, sticky and wet on her palms as she held tight. “Good, because I’ve decided to take you either way.”
