When We Were

by Diana Elliot Graham

“I’m 2A.” He says as he uses the key and opens the door to the mail vestibule. And I log that in my mind. Undoubtedly knowing I’ll be back, and I think that’s why he said it. Making sure I know exactly where to find him.

He leans down and plants a controlled kiss on my lips. Testing the invitation of it. When I throw my arms around his neck, he releases the scarf, wraps his right arm around my lower back, pulling me up deeply into his chest, my toes the brushing the ground,

think you better hold on to that. At least until I can be sure you have a replacement.” “You sure this isn’t just another ploy to see me again?” “I told you, I don’t do ploys, I don’t need to. So, I’ll be clear, I want to see you again.”

Reid: Trust me, AB. I’ll work for it.

“Awwww. You packed me lunch?” “I will gladly pack you a bagged lunch, but first you’ll have to spend the night.” “And what makes you so sure I’ll stay over?” “I’m not sure, but I’m looking at you, and your face is telling me I can be hopeful.”

“The time scheduled or the time we showed up?” “The earlier the better, AB.”

And now, replaying the story from the very beginning, retelling it to Amanda, all the things I never saw were glaringly obvious.

I read in my life, hell, from everything I’ve written, that was instant chemistry, and it doesn’t burn out entirely over time, no matter who else has chapters in your story. It might not be that big burning love it was or whatever, but that never dies out completely.”

“I didn’t realize we had a table.” “I figured after today it would be official.” That feels weightier than I think he means it. Right? “Don’t you think that’s a little fast to commit to a... table?”

“Well, I really like this table, and when I like something, I commit. But I think we should come back tomorrow to be sure.”

“I think you might be the sunshiny one here. You are practically beaming every time I see you.” His laugh is sweet, almost sounds shy, but I know better. “Of course I am, because it’s every time I see you.”

“Because I keep thinking the only man’s shirt you should be wearing is mine.”

Reid and I met for coffee every morning for almost two weeks. Each day, we shared more about ourselves, every day getting harder and harder to leave the small table by the window.

My eagerness to see him, even after leaving him just ten hours ago, is substantial. How much I want him is substantial.

“I’ve never had to get out of bed to find something I wanted to eat.”

Leaning up to him, answering a question he doesn’t ask. “Right now.” Kissing his cheek and lowering myself back into my seat.

either. I wasn’t bothered because you have a history, I’m not looking to read an empty book. Arden, you’re brilliant, and you’re gorgeous, you should have fucking history.

“Next time, tell me exactly what you mean, and I promise to do exactly that.”

“Are you really not wearing any underwear right now?”

“How much... do you like these tights?”

With that, his fingertips curl between my legs, gripping the lace fabric at the seam of me and splitting them open. Ripping it down the middle, exposing my middle completely to him.

“Tell me,” he says commandingly. “Tell you, what?” I ask in more of a whisper than his, though I have no idea whose benefit I feel it necessary to whisper for. “Tell me what you want, Arden. Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.”

“If you want me, you have to say it, baby.” This time holding me in place with his glare alone. “I want you.”

want to feel you around my fingers before you take the rest of me. Come for me, so I can hear you. So I can prepare myself for what you’re about to do to me.”

“Tell me.” Not a question, but I know the answer. “I want more,” I whisper up into his ear. “Good. It’s yours.”

His concern for my hydration even now, both incredibly endearing and almost alarming.

But of what air I am able to inhale, all I breathe is him. The illusion of cinnamon on my tongue. The imagined taste my mind assigned to each of his kisses.

“Baby, if you want the feeling of teeth on your lip, say so. Because every time you do that. It doesn’t matter where we are, it makes me fucking crazy. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to control myself.”

“You can beg me if you want, and don’t think I won’t get off on every fucking second of it, but baby, I’m the one who should be on my knees begging to have you.”

He removed the condom and poured a glass of water bringing it to me where I remained in his bed, sitting up on my elbows as sweat dripped down between my breasts.

My skin is sensitive, and I can always see the marks left as signatures of the person who had held me. And right now, my skin was a map of the places he had touched. And I wanted to follow it again.

I have every intention of staying in all day, all weekend in fact, and would like it if you stayed with me.”

“I’ve told you. I’m not worried about keeping score, AB. You can have all the points, but I get you.”

Watching this man come, watching this man come apart, for me, is magnificent. And I wonder if he knows just how undone I am in his arms.

“Arden, number one, I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it and I can guar-an-tee,” he enunciates every syllable, “I’ll be up for

“Arden.” His voice is slow, deep, and has a rough smokiness to match his gaze. Not an actual warning, but it feels like I am teetering on the edge of one. And my body prepared itself.

“You can get your ass over here. Right. Fucking. Now.” His lips pull into the most indecent smile.

want you to come so furiously that your fingernails leave marks in the leather.”

“I want to hear my skin slap against yours while I fuck you relentlessly.”

“I want to feel you come around me so hard that your body rips the orgasm from mine.”

“And baby, I won’t have your mouth around me until I’ve had mine on you first.” He

I thought I was lost to him, my body owned by him, but that isn’t it. We are completely lost, together.

She was an important thing. I knew it immediately when I saw her. Even in a room full of people.

“Tell me something,” I whisper into his neck, with my lips against his skin. “Anything you want.”

“I won’t have your mouth on me until I’ve had mine on you first.” It may have been a whisper, but there is nothing quiet or subdued in his tone. “And did you mean it?” “I always say what I mean, baby, and with you, a little too much.”

As was the reciprocal act. And even still it did not stop me from dropping to my knees like his fucking pet. Looking up to him eager to take him in my mouth.

Being with him is like running downhill. That feeling where your feet can’t keep up with the force, picking up speed, no idea what happens when you make it to the bottom.

Which is why, sitting here at Reid’s counter, the one I literally crawled across a few hours ago,

It only seems that way, though; if I thought about it, if I was honest with him, with myself, it would have been that I had cannonballed into the deep end the minute he played his first scrabble word. And regardless of how well I thought I knew how to swim, this current was pulling me under in a way that terrifies me.

“Then don’t assume. If you’re not sure, ask me. But right now, I’ll be clear so you don’t have to ask. I don’t do casual, I don’t do open, I don’t just consider ‘hanging out’ when I’m sleeping with someone. That’s never worked for me, and I don’t like the idea of it now. Especially not with you. You’re going to need to tell me if that works for you. If it doesn’t, I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll understand, and we can remain friends.”