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sublime feast that fed me on days when I was starving.
I’m just furious mortified upset seething afraid. I’m afraid he’s going to hurt me. I’m afraid to lose someone I love again. I’m afraid to let go. To acknowledge what I feel for him.
Something that is begging me to remove the last of my armor and let him see me as I am. To choose him.
our hill.”
I would much rather read what you write. Even if they aren’t letters to me.”
That’s when I decided I would follow you. I didn’t want the life my father had planned for me—a life where I could never be with you.”
She reminded herself that even though she had been left, time and time again, by the people she loved, Roman had come to her. He was choosing her.
Time to protect myself, to put all my armor on again.
“But since we aren’t guaranteed tonight, what is my reward for reading this horribly dramatic letter to you?”
Her pulse was beating like a drum, but she drew a deep breath and whispered, “Read to me, Roman.”
“I fear that once you taste something like that … you don’t forget it, Iris. And now I must see if your words from three days ago hold, or if you will rewrite them with me here, in this moment.”
“Marry me, Iris Elizabeth Winnow,” Roman whispered, drawing back to look at her. “I want to spend all my days and all my nights with you. Marry me.”
“Yes, I’ll marry you, Roman Carver Kitt.”
“You’re distracting me, Kitt.”
“I’m pleased to hear it. Now you know how I’ve felt all this bloody time, Iris.”
“If I was distracting you for such a long period of time … you should have do...
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“I can do all of that and more if you like,” he said, deadly serious. “Simply tell me what you want.”
You deserve all the happiness in the world. And I intend to see that you have it.”
“Iris,” said Roman, “you are worthy of love. You are worthy to feel joy right now, even in the darkness. And just in case you’re wondering … I’m not going anywhere, unless you tell me to leave, and even then, we might need to negotiate.”
Even when the world seems to stop, threatening to crumble, and the hour feels dark as the siren rings … it isn’t a crime to feel joy.
But Iris saw the sadness that flickered through the captain’s eyes as she glanced at the garden again. As if she sensed this might be the last time she would enjoy it.
“it only makes this all the more beautiful. The two of you have found each other against great odds. And if this is your one and only night with him, then savor it.”
but the moment he saw her walk through the doors with her hair swept up, adorned with flowers … he felt a rush of pride. Of immense joy, so deep there was no end to it, nor a way to measure it.
He didn’t know why she suddenly began to blur. Why her edges melted before him, as if she were a vision. A dream about to fade. Not until he blinked and tears slipped down his face.
“I pray that my days will be long at your side. Let me fill and satisfy every longing in your soul. May your hand be in mine, by sun and by night. Let our breaths twine and our blood become one, until our bones return to dust. Even then, may I find your soul still sworn to mine.”
If only she could bottle this moment. If only she could drink from it in the days to come, to remember this feeling of warmth and wholeness and joy. As if all of her pieces had come back together, far stronger than they had been before she had broken.
“I think you’ve made me brave, Kitt.”
“My Iris,”
I don’t know who I would be without you, but you have made me in all ways better than I ever was or could have ever hoped to be.”
“I think you and I are simply better together, Kitt,”
Little did he know she had already planned this. To stay close to him. To be ready to support his weight all the way to the lorry if he needed her. To keep him alive.
This is the end,
She imagined their future. All the things she wanted to do with him. Experience with him. All the things she would never taste now.
It was a place Iris had never seen before, and she was on her hands and knees, weeding. Roman was supposed to be helping her, but he was only a distraction.
I want your hand to be in mine, no matter what comes.
He wasn’t acting normal.
ITS NOT HIM. ITS WHOEVER STOLE THE JUMPSUITMFROM THEN HOUSE
“Stop fighting me, Little Flower.”
But you are breathing beneath the same moon, the same stars, the same sun as me, even as the kilometers are growing between us.
He had been fighting for Dacre.
They had been fatal wounds. He should be dead. He shouldn’t be here with her, breathing the same air. She didn’t know how he had survived them.
This ring was the only proof she had, the one tangible thing to whisper to her, Yes, it happened, and he loved you.
Iris! Iris, it’s me, Kitt.
