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“You’re not supposed to eat the fairy fruit. It drives us mortals wild with desire.
I craved romance and sex, yes, but more than that, I craved happenings. Novelty. I wanted everyone to be looking for love or falling in love or having their heart broken…I wanted everyone to be poised on the edge of some new cliff, ready to tumble into the next pool of excitement or pain.
I’ve learned the hard way that insatiable girls don’t get happily ever afters. They eat their way through lovers and friends too heartily—and that they also want to be eaten alive, their blood drunk and their bones cracked open, is irrelevant. Insatiable girls stay alone. Insatiable girls settle for living by proxy, for craving and wanting and shoving those wants down where they won’t scare anyone away.
“It’s dangerous to be out when the lights are lit,” the stranger says, his voice deep and burred, although something about the cadence of his voice doesn’t sound entirely Scottish to me. “Especially on this night, of all nights.”
Because I’d like her to. Because even though I was kidnapped by someone named Maynard and carried to a mushroom castle, even though I’m so very certain this is a dream, it would be a very good mushroom castle dream if she put her fingers in my mouth.
“Are you asking why someone might want to have a toy, Janneth Carter? You who so like to be one?”
“Because mortal toys are more fun,” he says. “And more beloved. And when beloved things bleed, the land sings.”
Some people have princess fantasies—I have fantasies about getting railed in a princess dress. To each their own, I guess.
This is my consort, a mortal worthy of a stag’s heart and a stag’s kiss.
If maybe the queen herself had chosen the roses for my bath.
“There is not so much difference between those with the greed to take and the greed to make,” she murmurs. “Both are hard ways to be. Both are lonely.”
“It pleases me to have you as my pet,” she says finally and then closes her eyes. “And so whatever you do, I shall find pleasing, because you are mine.”
“And trust that I will not be shy about taking what I want regardless,”
Why have I been pressing myself into the shape of someone easy, someone composed and guarded and temperate, when I’m none of those things? When I don’t even really want to be? When what I really want is to be as hungry as I can be, as messy as I can be, as much?
Whatever you do, I shall find pleasing, because you are mine.
And then, just as with her kiss, just as last night, there is the taste under the taste, and if her kisses were enough to get me stoned, then licking her cunt is enough to send me flying.
You think you love something, you think it will love you back, but then the closer you get, the further it draws away from you. The more you realize that, rather than the thing itself, you loved the way it made you feel when you knew nothing about it instead.”
Whatever you do, I shall find pleasing, because you are mine.
“You should never be less than yourself.”
Kidnapping is bad. Magical stalking is bad. You didn’t know you were making a bargain. None of this is fair, and you should hate it.
Morgana is getting married. Morgana is getting married, and she didn’t tell me. Morgana is getting married, and now I am confronted with all the shameful, half-formed fantasies I’ve been harboring since I met her.
At every seven years, they pay a tithe to Hell. And I’m so fair and full of flesh, I’m feared ’twill be myself.
You shall be my pet, my everything, until the final night of Samhain, and you will not be harmed until you leave Faerie.
