Heartsong (Green Creek, #3)

by T.J. Klune

“Oh, oh. Look. Robbie. Look.” She pulled out the stone wolf. Kelly’s wolf. “After all this time?” I nodded. “I thought it was mine.” “It is yours,” she said. “Because it was given to you. On a bright and sunny day. Kelly was nervous. He asked me if I thought you’d accept it. I told him I believed you would with all my heart. He didn’t know that you’d already come to me a few days before to ask me the same thing.”

Kelly is a mystery. But he’s not unknowable.

“Because you filled a hole in me I didn’t even know was there. You make me complete. You make me happy. I see you, Robbie. I see you.”

“Bambi,” Rico said into his phone in the back seat, “I can’t talk long. I’m in the back of Kelly’s cop car and— What? No, I haven’t been arrested. I didn’t do anything! Would you just— Oh. Right. Yeah, I guess that was illegal. But that was one time, and no one knows about it except for you and every person in the pack, which, now that I think about it, is a lot of people.

“Or it might be more of those hunters,” Will said. “Or Omegas. Or some other manner of shape-shifters. Or vampires.” “Christ,” Rico muttered. “I told you there’s no such thing as vampires. That’s ridiculous.” Will rolled his eyes. “Says you. You belong to people who turn into wolves the size of horses, and you want to lecture me on what’s ridiculous?” Rico opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Then, “I’ve never thought about it that way. Oh my god, what if there are vampires?”

“I really hope we fucking straight-up murder Gordo’s dad. I’m sick and tired of this Omega bullshit. I want my tether back.” Kelly laughed, though it sounded closer to a sob. “I’m right here. I’m right here.”

Kelly said, “I see you, you know?” Kelly said, “I see you.” Kelly said, “And I will never let you go.”

Gavin snarled, “Don’t. Touch. Him.” And then he threw his father as hard as he could. Livingstone flew backward, and the moment before he struck the remains of a smoldering house behind him, I saw the look on his face. Betrayal. He hit the house, sparks and flames rising up as the house collapsed. Impossibly, ridiculously, Carter whispered through a mouthful of blood, “Oh shit. I think I’m bisexual.”

He said, “Please.” He said, “Please help me.” He said, “Please don’t let me die.” And Gordo said, “Fuck you.”

“I gave you life. I gave you a home. I gave you everything. And thissss is how you repay me?” “Fucking die already,” I managed to say, and sank my claws into his right eye.

And his heart never stuttered. But he lied. Because he was pack. They were faint, the threads that stretched from him toward us, and just as we began to pull on them, just as we began to tug them, to sing to him, to remind him where he belonged, Gavin broke them. Carter sounded as if he’d been punched, bending over and gagging. The others were distracted. They didn’t see what I saw. The look on Gavin’s face, brief though it was. It was heartbreak, real and devastating. And then it was gone.

Carter took a step forward, hand raised, fingers trembling. And when he turned toward us, gone was the bravado, gone was the man I’d come to know. In his place stood a lost boy, eyes wide and wet, lip trembling. “Mom,” he croaked as a tear spilled down his cheek, chest hitching. And ah, god, there was so much blue pouring off him, I thought it would drown us all. “He … left. Mom? Why—why did he go? Why did he leave? I didn’t know. I didn’t know.”

A few of the wolves had left, not wanting anything to do with the Bennetts. Santos, the one who’d been guarding Dale and who’d gone after Alpha Wells and her pack, had been one of them. I didn’t know if he went looking for Livingstone, but he was there one day and then gone the next, without so much as a note left behind. I had a feeling we’d see him again.

It was so simple, wasn’t it? This. Him and me. So I said, “I love you. No matter what happens.”

(what are you doing robbie robbie please don’t please don’t do this oh my god what’s wrong with you you’re not please please please i don’t want to die please you’re hurting me robbie you’re hurting me oh god no no let me go let me go LET ME GO LETMEGOLETME)

“You can’t ever leave me again.” I couldn’t promise that. None of us could. I said, “I won’t. Never again.” He kissed me. I closed my eyes. And here, at last, I followed the wolfsong and found my way home.

Kelly spoke. He said, “Hold on to me.” He said, “As tightly as you can.” He said, “I know it hurts.” He said, “I know what it feels like.” He said, “But we’ll find him.” He said, “We’ll find him and bring him home.” Carter never spoke, but I could feel the sharpness of it along the bonds, though he tried to keep it from us. In these moments, alone with his brother, with his tether, he allowed himself to grieve.

“Where’s Carter, why can’t I feel him, what happened, what happened, what—” She dropped her hand. She whispered, “He’s gone.” Joe slumped against the wall, sliding down to the floor, face in his hands. “No,” Kelly said, stepping forward. “No, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t leave, he wouldn’t do that to me, he wouldn’t—”

“He’s gone after Gavin. He says he’s sorry, but he has to do this. He has to find him.” He swallowed thickly. “And that he was going to cut himself off from us. From the pack. He doesn’t want anyone coming after him. He doesn’t want anyone else getting hurt.” “No,” Kelly said, shaking his head. “He wouldn’t—he wouldn’t do that to me.” Anger like I’d never felt from him before filled his voice, tinged with the deepest blue. “He wouldn’t. I’m his brother. I’m his tether. He wouldn’t—” His voice broke.

Kelly, I … I love you more than anything in this world. Please remember that. I know this is going to hurt, and I’m sorry. But I have to do this. You see, there was this boy. And he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. He gave me the courage to stand for what I believe in, to fight for those I care about. He taught me the strength of love and brotherhood. He made me a better person. You, Kelly. Always you. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re my first memory. Mom was holding you, and I wanted to take you for myself, hide you away so no one would hurt you. You’re my first love. I knew that when you would always smile when you saw me, and it was like staring into the sun. You’re my heart. You are my soul.

Because with you, I understood life. What it meant to love someone so blindingly and without reservation. To have a purpose. To have hope. I have been a big brother for most of my life, and it’s the best thing I could ever be. Without you, I would be nothing.

Kelly, he saved us. I see that now. He saved us all. And I have to do the same for him. I have to.

I made you a promise once. I told you that I would always come back for you. I meant it then and I mean it now. I will always come back for you. No matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing, I’ll be thinking of you and imagining the day I get to see you again. I don’t know when that’s going to be, but after you kick my ass, after you scream and yell at me, please hug me like you’re never going to let me go because I won’t ever want you to. Fuck. I can’t breathe. I can’t—

I will come back for you, and nothing will hurt us ever again.