Carter, in his infinite wisdom, told me that I needed to be like a bird of paradise, all bright colors and prancing around a nest I’d made out of sticks and feathers and leaves in a sensual dance sure to attract the attention of a mate. It was while I was collecting said sticks and feathers and leaves and trying to figure out what I could do about bright colors when Joe told me in no uncertain terms Carter was being a dick and under no circumstances should I listen to his advice ever again. Which was a relief, because I didn’t think I was very good at prancing or sensual dancing. Carter
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