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March 5 - April 13, 2023
It wasn’t perfect; the house had been empty and not in great shape, but it had been exactly what she’d needed at the time. Plus, she’d thought that there was something kind of poetic about living in a house in need of a little bit of love. She could have used some too.
need of a little bit of love. She could have used some too.
This could finally be what she’d been hoping for since starting her company straight out of college. Photography was her passion. She loved being able to connect with people, understand their desires, and let the emotions flow through the lens of her camera. She had the ability to see through people better than they could themselves, capture their essence and translate it into the photo, like time forever frozen in the moment.
Photography was her passion. She loved being able to connect with people, understand their desires, and let the emotions flow through the lens of her camera. She had the ability to see through people better than they could themselves, capture their essence and translate it into the photo, like time forever frozen in the moment. This job was not just a job, it was who she was.
This job was not just a job, it was...
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For as long as she could remember, she’d liked to be in control. She liked doing things her way, on her own terms, at her own pace, as having a routine helped manage her stress. Her anxiety had always been a part of her, something she’d learned to live with, side by side. It was almost like a scar—it might fade with time and care, but it would always be there. Although she’d learned to tame it, she knew it was always lurking in the shadows, close to the surface, ready to pounce the minute she let her guard down. She was the prey, and her anxiety was her number-one enemy.
For as long as she could remember, she’d liked to be in control. She liked doing things her way, on her own terms, at her own pace, as having a routine helped manage her stress. Her anxiety had always been a part of her, something she’d learned to live with, side by side. It was almost like a scar—it might fade with time and care, but it would always be there. Although she’d learned to tame it, she knew it was always lurking in the shadows, close to the surface, ready to pounce the minute she let her guard down. She was the prey, and her anxiety was her number-one enemy.
Loving yourself was a journey, one that had its ups and downs. Every day was a struggle when you were constantly reminded that your body didn’t fit society’s standards.
Some days were easier than others. On those
Her love for the rain was unmatched, though for those who didn’t know anything about her, it would probably seem weird. It was so peaceful; the sound of drops hitting the pavement, the leaves, the grass. Everything around her seemed to slow down, to quiet.
Even her own mind, used to working at 100 miles per hour, would stand still during a downpour.
And who could tell then if her face was wet from rain dr...
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The rain was her best coping...
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So, when given the opportunity, Avery had al...
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Second thoughts and hesitation were not on the menu tonight,
That hurt, knowing she’d missed him becoming a man, the person he was standing in front of her. It felt like a loss she didn’t know she had been mourning. In her mind, the memory of him was stuck with his too-long wavy hair always falling in his eyes, and his skinny body made for running the fastest in school. What else had she missed? What had happened to him during all those years apart? Being kept in the dark now that she could grasp the magnitude of the changes that ten years without contact looked like was suddenly unbearable. She used to know what he did every minute of every day, heard
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The melody flew effortlessly from his hands to reach Avery, right in the little organ currently galloping inside her chest. An invisible thread connecting her to his music. There was a lot to unpack in what he had just said. She and Josh hadn’t talked in years. But this song ... oh, she knew this song all too well.
There was something very intimate in playing music or singing in front of someone else, like you purposely let your guard down and chose to let the other person see who you truly were, your flaws and your weaknesses.
Stop staring, you creep.
The body was a beautiful and fascinating thing, able to memorize details and store them away, like it had a mind of its own.
Avery had always thought of Toronto as a big, warm hug. One you’d gladly jump into when you needed a little bit of solace. Everyone was embraced here. Diversity was celebrated, and she’d never felt a sense of community like this anywhere else.
The city looked so big from here, but the reality was, it had always felt small. Just one giant family.
Who would want to give up a city like this, where everyone was someone, part of an ecosystem that relied on acceptance and kindness?
already unraveling, losing a vital piece of herself, one that she hadn’t given him permission to take.
Her mind was racing, torn between closing the last distance between them and give in to something she knew she had thought about, or pushing him away, the resentment and hurt still lingering in her broken heart.