The questions will be about my life and how I plan to celebrate. Answers: I don’t have a life, and I will likely celebrate by drinking alone and going down Reddit rabbit holes researching random and upsetting things like fecal-matter transplants, or the Golden State Killer, while making myself regret everything. I’m not sure that’s relatable, so I’ll say I’m having dinner with friends. Oh, the lies I am forced to tell just to fit in at the western regional office of Supershops Incorporated.
