“Alex,” Jessica says patiently. “This is not the kind of gift a heterosexual guy gives to his male friend. Would you ever buy Jeff shoes like this?” “Yes? If he asked for a pair. Look. I just wanted to do something nice for Eli because he took care of me the first couple days when I was injured. And he cooks for me all the time. And just—I knew they’d make him happy.” “Oh my god,” Jessica says faintly. “I can’t even be mad at you when you’re so stupidly earnest.”
