Play With Me (Playing for Keeps, #2)

by Becka Mack

Am I the only one who believed in him?” A collective yes rings around the table that has Adam dragging both hands down his face,

Lmao

I stab at the chocolate cake Adam hasn’t finished yet, stuffing a hunk in my mouth. There are crushed Oreos in the fudge filling. It’s amazing. “Caw-ta

Of course lol so cheesy

“And one of the guys lives on the top floor, which is cool, because you won’t really be alone. I haven’t asked him yet, but I know he’ll look out for you.”

Garrett ???

Carter’s all about big, loud gestures, but sometimes it’s these tiny, silent ones that warm me the most.

Love him

I am terrified. It’s not that I don’t crave intimacy, the person who’s always in your corner, who sees you with all your walls down and still likes you. God, how I wouldn’t love to find someone who saw everything, accepted it all. Someone all my own to share the hard things with. Maybe then all those hard things would feel manageable.

Silence makes my skin crawl. It leaves too much room for wandering thoughts, overthinking, and second-guessing.

Fuck you, I mouth, flipping him the bird behind Carter’s back. You’d like that, he mouths back.

We’re done a half hour early, so I text Garrett, letting him know I’ll grab the bus. I get a photo of the front entrance from behind a wet windshield, and the words already here,

love him

She giggles quietly, and I revel in the feel of her in my arms, like she was made to be a part of my life in some way. “Jennie?”

She picks at her blanket, licks her lips. “Do you think we’d be friends even without Carter? If you sat down next to me in a coffee shop?” “I think we share a connection that goes beyond your brother. With or without him, I wouldn’t hesitate to place you in my life and keep you there.”

“I can’t remember the last time I got any gifts from someone who wasn’t family.” Silence hangs between us like an anchor, keeping my eyes downcast. I’m worried I’ve taken us into unchartered territory, somewhere Garrett had no intention of going with a simple gift. “But I think you are my family,” he finally replies softly, urging my gaze to his, patient and kind, full of compassion.

Is the connection we share the kind you find regularly? Is it the type of connection you create with all your friends? Or is this connection unique to him? To us? Is it fleeting and rare, the powerful kind that allows a deep and meaningful relationship to bloom? The kind you grab hold of and tell yourself, no matter what, don’t you dare let go?

“Can we get popcorn, Garrett?” “We can get popcorn, Jennie.” “Can we get extra butter on the popcorn?” “We can get extra butter on the popcorn.”

I love her

I chuckle, making a mental note to plan more movie dates in the future. Her happiness is contagious, and all I want to do is feed it.

I’m out of my seat before I realize my feet are moving, and I step in front of Jennie, shoving Kevin backward. “Don’t fucking touch her,” I growl as Jennie’s hand slips up the back of my hoodie, gripping a fistful of my shirt, tugging me closer. “Don’t fucking talk to her. Don’t even fucking look at her.”

YESSS

I all but stuff her in the passenger seat, then take a moment in the bitter night air to tamp down on the urge to go back in there and knock Kevin’s teeth out for whatever he did to make this wild girl question all her best parts, to stomp on her trust to the point that she’s wary to ever give it out again.

All I know is this right here—my face buried in his chest, his arms wound around me, his soothing voice in my ear telling me everything will be okay—feels like exactly where I’m meant to be. Garrett’s my solid and my steady. He’s the constant in my life, the smile always waiting for me, the friendship that never wanes, the connection that grows stronger each day. He’s the warm arms that hug me, the fingers that drift down my back, the quiet voice that eases my worries at the end of the day and promises to be my safe place to land.

I don’t know how or why, but something inside me settles when I’m with him. I remember who I am, not who I tell myself I need to be.

“You came with Carter? Why?” A flash of hurt dances in her dark eyes. “Because you’re my sister, one of my best friends, and I love you. If you’re hurting, I don’t want you to do it alone.” Her arms come around me, a suffocating, wonderful hug. “We’re stronger together, Jennie.”

Crying

I like when we do this flip-flop thing, trading off on the bold and the shy. We do it so effortlessly, like we were always meant to complement each other.

“What are you looking at?” I brush her hair off her forehead, tucking it behind her ear. “You.” “Why?” Why? Why the fuck not? She’s beautiful, my best friend. She makes me smile when she’s not even doing a damn thing, and she lives rent-free in my head twenty-four seven. Who had any right making her this magnificent?

What I have with Garrett feels … different. Unique and fleeting, something you don’t let go of. But I’m only one-half of a whole; I can’t control when someone else wants to let go. Quite frankly, walking into something with that logic is frightening.

“Hey, Kevin?” she asks, syrupy sweet. His eyes bounce between us. “Yeah?” Her fist connects with his nose with a crack that echoes in the chilled air, along with the collective gasp from onlookers passing by. She wipes the blood off her knuckles. “Go fuck yourself.”

QUEEN EMILY

She’s stunning, a beautiful soul, my best friend even though I wasn’t looking. And as we sway together, the music telling us how quickly we’re falling, how hard, the future that could lie before us if we let it, I realize how difficult the words on the tip of my tongue are becoming to swallow down.

For once in my life, I just want to be loved. Loved for who I am, for what I have to give. I want someone to see everything I bring to the table and eagerly sit down with me.

“I’m so fucking tired of pretending.” “Pretending what?” It’s nothing but a breathy whisper as he prowls toward me, matching each of my steps backward. His strong hands cup my face, piercing gaze locked on mine as he looms above me. My heart slams in my chest as his thumb sweeps across my lower lip, and his eyes dip, watching as my lips part on a jagged inhale, before flipping back up to mine. “I’m so fucking tired of pretending I’m not in love with you.”

For so long, I’d convinced myself I was better off on my own. I’d grown so accustomed to my independence, told myself I needed it to be strong, I hadn’t realized how alone I felt. Then Garrett gave me my best friend, a partner to stand by my side and hold my hand. And the world feels a lot less scary when we face it together rather than separately. I don’t ever want to go without this feeling again.

Where did all this love come from? This incredible family, the friendships I’ve been blessed with? Have they always been here and I’ve just been too hard on myself to believe they were really here for me?

I’m not going to let her be just my Sunday night anymore. I want her to be my sleepy Monday morning, my thank-fuck-it’s-Friday, my stay-in-bed Saturday, and all the other days too. I’m not going to force myself to live without the brightest spot in my world.

I can stand on my own, but I don’t have to. I’m allowed to be one part of a whole. I’m allowed to choose love.

“Maybe you could ask her to stay,” Jaxon suggests. “I can’t.” I want to. I want to be selfish. But I can’t. Jennie deserves this opportunity. More than wanting her to stay, I want her to follow her dreams. And I’d never ask her to pick me over her dreams.

Never has that woman asked me to be anything other than myself. Everything I’ve had to give has always been just right, exactly what she’s needed. The same can be said for what she gives to me. I don’t know how many ways exist to explain how two people fit together so perfectly,

Real love isn’t conditional. It’s seeing somebody for everything they are and accepting all of them. It’s knowing you’re friends first and lovers second, understanding that arguments are opportunities to know each other deeper. It’s dinner waiting in the microwave, lights left on to welcome you home safely. It’s showering together so you can kiss a little longer. It’s two a.m. secrets spilled while you’re wrapped up in each other, dancing in the kitchen, Disney movies on the couch while crying your heart out. It’s supporting dreams, growing together, and growing separately. Because when you can stand strong on your own, you can stand strong together.

Adam helps Hank down to a seat, and Carter places his brand-new daughter in his arms, all seven pounds and eleven ounces of perfection. Nothing but pride and love shine in Carter’s eyes as he brushes her cheek and murmurs, “Meet your pseudo-grandpa, sweet Ireland.”

Im fucking sobbing

“I do what I want!” is all she shrieks again. “You weren’t supposed to be home ’til midnight, you dink!” “I flew home early to be with you, you turtle!” She blinks up at me, the rise and fall of her chest slowing. “Oh. That’s …” She scratches her scrunching nose. “Sweet.”